We reported back in March that Christina Aguilera told Elle magazine that she has no plans to change her “raunchy image” because she’s comfortable with it and her husband, Jordan Bratman, encourages it. But today it’s being reported that Christina will not go forward with her plans to pose topless because her husband asked her not to do it and a source claims he wants her to move away from her sexy image.
I wish Christina would make up her mind. I mean, I already know what her boobies look like naked because she wears shirts like this with no bra, but still, that doesn’t count. Listen, baby, when I go to a restaurant and I’ve narrowed my choices down to chicken or fish, I usually go with chicken. That’s because they have breasts. Scientific studies I haven’t performed in the basement I don’t have prove the Earth would fall off its axis if boobies did not exist and people like you didn’t show people like us your boobies. So, do the world a favor and just go through with it. Bunnies, grass, flowers, the human race and all that will thank you. And, um, Happy Earth Day, whenever that is. Tie-died shirts, anyone? Half off today! Patchouli scented falafels? Anyone? Anyone?
Christina in June GQ: