You’d be lying if you said you didn’t wake up this morning thinking, “I could really go for pictures of Pink’s nipples today.” Since you were hoping for these you’re also hoping for bills and junk mail in your mailbox, so hopefully the postal service came through for you today, too. It’s all about you today. Lucky you.
Scrolling down Nelly Furtado’s body is like walking through a strawberry field and tripping on a ripe watermelon. Where the hell did that awesome butt come from? It looks like she lost the lower half of her body in an accident and the doctor transplanted it with this one. Imagine what it’s like to be that poor girl walking around with only half a body because Nelly Furtado’s doctor stole the rest. These spoiled rich and famous people never know when to stop.
- Britney Spears is hanging out with the “manny” [Hollywood Rag]
- Vintage Taylor Hicks (American Idol) pictures [Just Jared]
- Jared Leto denies he’s gay [Popsugar]
- Video of that face plant on So You Think You Can Dance [City Rag]
- A Marisa Miller picture moment [Hollywood Tuna]
- The two sides of Kate Bosworth [A Socialite’s Life]
- Natalie Portman nude in Goya’s Ghost? [Egotastic]
- Candids from Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight’s wedding [D Listed]
- Brit and K-Fed‘s wedding invitation is on eBay [Best Week Ever]
- Casting call for Beauty and the Geek 3 [TV With MeeVee]
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[Gallery not found]
Now that she has her new nose, Ashlee Simpson is accessorizing her face with ridiculous collagen lips, but if you can look past those, you might notice she’s yet another small step away from being ugly here. It’s quite remarkable, really. Well, I guess that’s only in comparison to her sister’s recent pictures, and Jessica is another giant leap toward being “hard to look at without squinting.” You can put Chihuahua poop next to Great Dane poop, and while one pile may be cute when compared to the other, they both stink and you just referred to poop as “cute.”
K-Fed let the people at Item magazine wash and dust the crap off him for their June issue. The interview was published to promote his CD which will be released in August. (Ooh, I can’t wait!!) He went from carjacker to car salesman. Showering must have been like one of those cartoons where the little pink cartoon soap gets scared, wiggles out of his hand and K-Fed chases it around the shower. Then K-Fed breaks out his gat, shoots the soap dead and washes up with the little soap corpse who has a bullet hole and two Xs for eyes.
So while we were away, Angelina Jolie and Gwen Stefani went and had their babies. Angelina gave birth to a baby girl in a Namibian hospital and she and Brad Pitt named her Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Shiloh is the Hebrew word for “Mesiah” or “Peaceful One”, and Nouvel is the French term for “new”. Gwen Stefani gave birth via Caesarean section at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre in LA to a boy she and Gavin Rossdale named Kingston James McGregor Rossdale who weighed in at 7 1/2 pounds. Both mothers “are doing fine.”
There are no other details regarding the births or any pictures released, but there is speculation that Angelina Jolie also gave birth via C-section. Funny, I had no idea she was even pregnant. Who’s Angelina Jolie, anyway? And what’s a “Brad Pitt”?
Gwen and Gavin on May 23:
We reported back in March that Christina Aguilera told Elle magazine that she has no plans to change her “raunchy image” because she’s comfortable with it and her husband, Jordan Bratman, encourages it. But today it’s being reported that Christina will not go forward with her plans to pose topless because her husband asked her not to do it and a source claims he wants her to move away from her sexy image.
I wish Christina would make up her mind. I mean, I already know what her boobies look like naked because she wears shirts like this with no bra, but still, that doesn’t count. Listen, baby, when I go to a restaurant and I’ve narrowed my choices down to chicken or fish, I usually go with chicken. That’s because they have breasts. Scientific studies I haven’t performed in the basement I don’t have prove the Earth would fall off its axis if boobies did not exist and people like you didn’t show people like us your boobies. So, do the world a favor and just go through with it. Bunnies, grass, flowers, the human race and all that will thank you. And, um, Happy Earth Day, whenever that is. Tie-died shirts, anyone? Half off today! Patchouli scented falafels? Anyone? Anyone?
Christina in June GQ:
- Michelle Rodriguez is out of jail again [A Socialite’s Life]
- Mariah Carey insures her legs for $1 billion [Hollywood Rag]
- Joss Stone and her bikini [Hollywood Tuna]
- Borat‘s beach thong inspiration [City Rag]
- Ben Affleck hospitalized for a headache [Popsugar]
- Lindsay Lohan is moving to London [Egotastic]
- Johnny Depp thinks Kate Moss is an actress [D Listed]
- Tom, “Kate” and still no Suri [Just Jared]
- Britney allegedly finally dumped K-Fed [Best Week Ever]
- This baby loves the Bee Gees [College Humor]
- Gallery of really bad celebrity tattoos [Save Manny]
If you look as fat as Nicole Richie does in a bikini, you should really consider killing yourself. Not even gastric bypass surgery can help you now. You’re on a fast track to humiliating yourself on the Jerry Springer show where they’ll remove one of the walls from your house and give you a flatbed ride to the hospital. Really, it would have been a lot easier if you’d just chosen to be skinny and marry a goat instead. Or you could marry Nicole Richie. She looks enough like a goat for you to get your rocks off, you sicko.
Before Jaime Pressly scored a role on the popular show My Name is Earl, which has helped her gain well deserved fame and popularity, she was worried she’d have to star in a celebrity sex tape to get where she is now, but vowed to never do it. She says,
No way would I ever do it. Not after what happened to everybody I know. And people I don’t even know! Not a chance. Last year sex tapes were the in thing. It made me go, ‘Jesus, all I had to do was have sex with somebody on a tape? I’ve been working for 11 years busting my ass and all I had to do was have sex on the internet?’
Jaime, after seeing these “rare nude photos” of you below, I think it would be a very good idea to leak a sex tape. I know you’re a great actress, unlike the other females in the famous tapes, but that’s the beauty of it. You’d be the only talented actress with a famous sex tape. So for purely selfish reasons, and as your self appointed manager, I advise you to go for it. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just release the one you and I made with Clint Howard. I know, it was a moment of weakness on our parts, but people will understand.
Yes, these are NSFW: