Don’t Park Next To Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is allegedly addicted to gambling and was dumb enough to bet her Bentley Continental GT with an estimated worth of around $150,000 (which she let her boyfriend drive drunk and crash) and lose it during a poker game. So now she’s driving this Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren which is estimated to be worth over $400,000. Never mind that piece of crap Ferrari parked next to you, Paris. Just go ahead and scrape your boney ass all over his paint and scuff up his wheels with your flip flops while you look stupid trying to work the door. I’m sure he won’t mind. You know what else he won’t mind? Use your keys to etch a note on his hood which reads, “I’m richer than you, and your mom is sluttier than me. Love, Paris Hilton.” I think it’s Ice Cube’s car, but he has a really good sense of humor, and he was walking around today saying today was a good day, and he didn’t even have to use his AK. You’re a bettin’ woman. Go for it, Paris!