Tom Cruise Has a Birthing Plan

Rumors of a pending split between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now being fueled by Tom’s insistance that the baby should be delivered according to Scientology doctrine. Katie’s friends are concerned that she has been having a tough time dealing with the proposed birthing plans which include no painkillers and no screaming and separating the baby from Katie for a couple days immediately after the birth.

In Scientology, mother and child are separated for days after birth to reduce trauma and provide time to recover, says a source. The mother is discouraged from holding or cuddling the child. “The baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so,” Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in a Dec. 20, 1958, bulletin titled “Processing a New Mother.”

200 years ago Native American women gave birth squatting by a tree with a stick in their mouths, yet that seems more medically advanced than what Scientology has in mind for all the ladies. I’d much prefer a nice piece of peyote and some elk blood on my head, than having to push a ten pound object out of my body without making a sound because a misogynistic cult believes Xenu blew people up in volcanoes. Some stuff you just can’t make up.

Related entires:
Katie Holmes is Brainwashed
Another Ride on the Cruise Crazy Train
Catching Up With Cruise