This Looks Nothing Like Britney Spears

If you’re anywhere near New York this April, you can make a pit stop at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district to see this ridiculous “Pro-Life monument to birth” which is supposed to be the likeness of Britney Spears.

Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston,” believed Pro-Life’s first monument to the ‘act of giving birth,’ is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. Natural aspects of Spears’ pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean’s head. The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva’s pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed on all fours atop a bearskin rug with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear’s ears with ‘water-retentive’ hands.”

First of all, Britney chose to avoid the whole going into labor, vaginal birth ordeal by scheduling a Cesarean Section prior to her due date because people told her childbirth hurt, and she didn’t want it to hurt. So Sean P.’s birth looked nothing like this. She was strapped to a gurney with a sheet in front of her face, most of her body was numb and she was high on some super fantastic painkillers. Furthermore, Kevin Federline is a shining example of why abortion was invented. Like rat poison and roach motels, it’s a necessary evil to avoid overpopulating the Earth with vermin. And if I had to choose between a house full of rats or a house full of K-Feds, I’d go with the rats. Rats and K-Fed both smell like dumpsters and shit all over everything, but rats are smart and have personality. “Personality goes a long way.”

Thanks to Nate, Diane and Jennifer for the heads up!