Eva Longoria is Gullible

Pint-sized actress Eva Longoria claims that her boyfriend, Tony Parker, is more sophisticated than most American males and fellow NBA players due to his European upbringing. She states that most of them are only interested in “bling and hos”. She claims that Frenchman Parker and his fellow teammates aren’t into the groupie scene and flashy jewelry because most of them weren’t born in America. Eva explains:

The Spurs are such straight arrows compared to the rest of the National Basketball Association (NBA). “Seven of the 13 Spurs are foreign, so they don’t have that American thing of the bling and the cars and the MTV CRIBS and yes, the hos.” He’s [Tony’s] way more worldly than anyone I’ve met in the States.”

Quick fact on Tony Parker: He’s 23 and has been in the NBA since he was 19. Meaning, he was a star long before he came to America and was a teenage superstar in France. As much as Eva Longoria would like to think that her “worldly” lover spent his days as a young lad in the French countryside reading poetry aloud while feeding his virgin sweetheart chocolate covered strawberries behind a silk blindfold; a more realistic scenario would be that Tony was banging girls and their mothers two at a time in exchange for his autograph. If you’re a teenage millionaire in America for the first time, the stripper without the lower back tattoo is probably as sophisticated as you want to get.