Angelina Jolie is Number One

Readers of a gay magazine called “Diva” have voted Angelina Jolie the number one “ultimate girl-on-girl fantasy” on a list of 10 women. The entire list is as follows:

1. Angelina Jolie
2. Portia De Rossi
3. Gina Gershon
4. Sharon Stone
5. Jodie Foster
6. Queen Latifah
7. Halle Berry
8. Charlize Theron
9. Salma Hayek
10. Drew Barrymore

I guess since I would do several people on this list, it makes me half gay, so I believe I’m qualified to toss in my two and a half cents on this one. Drew Barrymore – only if she was gagged with a flowery scarf and let me do all the work. I don’t want Gertie yapping incessantly, changing the subject and breaking my concentration. Salma Hayek – you bring the salsa, I’ll bring the tortillas, baby. Don’t forget your boobs. Charlize Theron – I’m thinking she’s strictly a “bottom”, meaning she’d be the do-ee, not the do-er, which is fine by me. As long as visions of her in 2 Days in the Valley pop in my head, and not Monster, we’re set. Halle Berry – she seems the type who’s bashful until she escorts you to her sex dungeon and breaks into dominatrix mode. So, yeah, I’d hit it. Queen Latifah – if I wanted a black man, I’d go get a black man. Jodie Foster – if I wanted a white man, I’d go get a white man. Sharon Stone – I wouldn’t touch her with Ryan Seacrest’s vagina. Gina Gershon – oh yes. Bound and Showgirls both sucked hard, but believe me when I tell you I’ve masturbated during seen both of them more times than I can remember thanks to Gina. Portia De Rossi – I’d just watch Ellen boink her with her strap-on. Angelina Jolie – oh, c’mon … duh!

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