Michelle Rodriguez is Done

Due to constant diva-like behavior, US Weekly claims the producers of Lost are killing off Michelle Rodriguez’s character, Ana-Lucia Cortez, as soon as they have the opportunity. Rodriguez is also facing legal troubles and is due in a Honolulu court next month on suspicion of drunk driving on December 1, her second such arrest in the last two years.

The producers are fed up with the fact that she barely shows up on the set and is always in a bad mood,” Us Weekly quoted an “insider” as saying. “They said she was getting killed off as soon as they could write it in.”

Lost is my regular prostitute’s favorite show of all time. She obsesses over it pretty much every time she comes over, trying to figure out what exactly is on the island and why the survivors are there. It’s hard to understand her with her mouth full, but I don’t have money to waste on conversations about the mysteries of the hatch so I try to limit our conversation to key words like “faster” and “concentrate”. The point of this look into my exciting life is that Michelle Rodriguez never comes up in these conversations. Why? Not because Michelle looks like a man, but because her character on the show really isn’t that important. Maybe she should have thought of that before she threw a hissy fit when wardrobe didn’t iron her boxers in that extra special way, or when she decided it was a good idea to go plowing through the streets of Honolulu too drunk to stand.