19 year old Lindsay Lohan thinks she’s a grown-up now and she’s gone through soooo much in her life that she should be included in the upper ranks of the talented, experienced and serious acting elite. She told Allure magazine,
I hate it when people call me a teen queen.”
Rest comfortably knowing I’ve never called you a “teen queen”, Lindz baby. I stick to things like “coke snorting, emaciated frecklemonger” and “self esteemless, chest inflating sun deflector”, but never anything involving the word “teen” or “queen”. I think I’ll start now, though. I just won’t use “teen” and “queen” together because I aspire to please you. How about “Teeny Boppy Poopypants”? No? What about “Queen Fartsabunch”? Nah, you probably won’t like that either. Well, I’m not nearly as sophisticated or mature as you, so I’ll try to work on a nickname to suit you. Until then, go stick your head in doo doo.
Wait, better yet … I’ll post these pictures of you wearing a fur in the hopes that the wild bunch at PETA throws some at you.
Thanks to Lee for the link!