Kelly Osbourne is Joking, Right?

Kelly Osbourne has lashed out at Paris Hilton claiming that she is a bad influence on her fans, according to a published report. She claims that little girls try to be like Paris so they wear skimpy clothes and high heels. She gripes:

Me and mum (Sharon Osbourne) went to an awards show recently. There was a little girl there and mum said, ‘How old are you?’ and she said, ‘I’m 11’. And she had on a miniskirt, a tank top that barely covered her chest, 4in heels and long, bleached-blonde hair – like Paris Hilton … Paris doesn’t hold up a sign saying, ‘Everybody dress like me’, but she is a bad influence. It’s up to the parents to stop their child dressing like a hooker.”

Man, you’re an idiot. I know you and your mother were too busy judging strangers to notice, so you probably missed that other eleven year old saying “fuck” and “shit” every third word because she sat through your asinine “reality” show. Your parents did a great job with you, so you should serve as the shining example for impressionable girls everywhere, right? I would beat you with a shovel on general principle if I wasn’t already pissed that you made me defend Paris Hilton. Of course she is a diseased skank with a lazy eye, but for some reason that sounds more appealing than a goth Cabbage Patch Kid you dumb whore.

Paris Hilton trying to hide her lazy eye on January 20th at Sundance: