Jennifer Garner is Scared of Britney Spears

Jennifer Garner is using Britney Spears as motivation to shed her baby weight. After seeing an unflattering picture of the lumpy mess that is Britney, Garner became terrified of what she might become and vowed to return to her pre-pregnancy weight.

The recent picture of a double-chinned Britney must have been a wake up call for Jen,” says a friend of the actress. “I heard pictures like that terrified her into seeing how she could become. It showed Jen that unless she shook herself out of the new mom thing she’s in, she’ll just sit back, eat more and soon outweigh Britney.”

Three years ago, if you would have told any 18-35 year old male that Britney Spears would eventually become either A.) a mermaid, B.) a ninja C.) a 200 pound lump of acne, guys everywhere would’ve been pouring salt in their hot tubs. Now, if Britney Spears even walks towards a buffet, the owners set the building on fire. At least Jennifer Garner has the self awareness and decency to know she is fat and then to do something about it. The only motivation Britney has is to remove her oxygen mask so she can finish off her fourth fried Slim Jim sandwich.

Jennifer on January 29th: