Britney Would Do Anything to Protect Him

People dished the story behind these photos which surfaced yesterday of Britney Spears and the hard evidence that she is a total and complete moron. Spears’ bullshit excuse is as follows:

Today I had a horrifying, frightful encounter with the paparazzi while I was with my baby. Because of a recent incident when I was trapped in my car without my baby by a throng of paparazzi, I was terrified that this time the physically aggressive paparazzi would put both me and my baby in danger. I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm’s way, but the paparazzi continued to stalk us, and took photos of us which were sold to the media. I love my child and would do anything to protect him.”

In Britneyland, cameras flashing at you is considered more dangerous than A.) driving without a seatbelt and B.) fashioning your big lap and stumpy arms into a car seat for your infant. God forbid the cameras caught you with your usual face full of whiteheads and the latest addition to your chins. Better to risk your baby’s life. Hey, but if you get in a wreck and the airbag fails at least you’ll have that kid as a cushion between you and that steering wheel. Gotta protect those big, dopey funbags dangling from your chest. And, no, I wasn’t referring to Federline.

Note: There’s nothing about the look on this idiot’s face in any of these pictures that says horrified or frightened. Maybe “vapid” and “punchable” would be a better description.

Update: TMZ is now reporting the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department has been alerted to the pictures via the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), and there is no word yet as to whether or not the matter is under investigation. The company responsible for photographers who snapped these photos has issued the following statement:

These pictures were taken in a very peaceful context, in which photographers exhibited no aggressive behavior. We believe the pictures speak for themselves.”

Update 2: TMZ now says, “Deputy Mark Winn, from the LA County Sheriff’s Dept., is on his way back (1:30 PM Pacific Time) from Britney Spears’ home. We’re told the deputy went to the singer’s home to ask questions about Britney driving with her baby on her lap without proper child restraint.”

Update 3: Again from TMZ: “An LA County Sheriff’s official has told TMZ that the LA County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) will investigate the incident involving Britney Spears and her son.”