This month’s issue of Cosmopolitan says that ample bottoms are all the rage. So much so that women are stuffing their pants with gel inserts to make their butts look bigger. They also mention Jessica Simpson gel-padded her cheeks to fill out her Daisy Dukes for Dukes of Hazzard. It’s great to have insecure girls like Jessica Simpson leading the way for future generations of dyed, stuffed and injected humanoids. Foreplay is super hot when it involves the girl removing her boobs, wig and ass before you get busy. If you’re really lucky, she’ll bury her face in your pillow long enough to wipe off her false eyelashes, drawn on eyebrows, spray on tan and deflate her collagen lips. What’s left will be something resembling that guy in Edvard Munch’s The Scream. But, hey, you got a piece and that’s really all that matters, right?