Jessica Simpson Is a Reality Whore

After the failure of her marriage to her Newlyweds co-star Nick Lachey you’d have thought Jessica Simpson would have had enough of reality TV shows. Turns out that isn’t the case at all. The singer turned actress is currently in talks to front her own solo fly on the wall program.

I like the idea as it could be empowering to women to show that life goes on after a marriage. It’s something I plan to make a success of in 2006.”

Listen you dumb bitch, just because daddy thought this was a good idea, doesn’t mean we will. It would be more “empowering to women” (14-year-old girls) if you took out those extensions and that crap in your lip. While you’re at it, reach around and take that gel insert out of your pants. Oh, let’s not forget the breast lift and implants. I don’t know what powerful image you are trying to portray to women, but I will guess that a fake Barbie with a black eye is only a good idea if you’re watching “A Woman Scorned” or “Someone She Knows” on Lifetime. Even then, the woman always gets beaten to death or befriends the hooker with the heart of gold. Sometimes she marries the hard-on-his-luck widower down the street. But all three of those usually involve a lot of crying.