Hilary Swank is Still Forgetting Chad Lowe

Hilary Swank and her husband of eight years, Chad Lowe, have separated according to a statement released by Swank via her manager today.

Hilary and Chad have decided to separate, but they are hopeful they’ll be able to get through this tough time,” Swank’s manager Troy Nankin said in a statement Monday. There was no elaboration on the reason for the split…” “Swank famously forgot to thank a tearful Lowe while accepting her best actress Oscar in 2000 for “Boys Don’t Cry.” Last year, Swank won again for “Million Dollar Baby” – this time, thanking her husband.”

Chad Lowe is famous because his older brother is really the famous one, and Chad was famously upstaged for years by a guy who was a better actor and had Down Syndrome. His wife was a more convincing heterosexual male than he is when she was playing a female to male transsexual in Boys Don’t Cry. I’m pretty sure he’s wildly insecure and his penis has likely malfunctioned on a regular basis as a result of all this trauma. Well, that and the fact that his wife is most likely a raging butch lesbian. She can wear almost see-through dresses that show off her giant boobies and grow her hair long all she wants. She’ll always be that guy with a strap-on in my eyes. Yeah, and maybe that turns me on a little. Don’t question me.