For some crazy, Hollywood famous person reason, Gwyneth Paltrow decided to have Lou Diamond “La Bamba was a really long time ago, my wife left me for a more masculine guy, and by that I mean Melissa Etheridge” Phillips help officially announce her second pregnancy.
During an interview after last night’s screening of her movie “Proof” in Los Angeles, Paltrow was introduced as a pregnant woman by moderator Lou Diamond Philips. He asked the actress, “How far along are you?” Paltrow answered, “Far enough along to feel very cumbersome.”
This is the chick who chose “Apple” as the name of her first born. I think the next born should be named “Pencil.” With names like that, not only will each kid be “Teacher’s Pet,” but they will also be deemed “cool” by insane, better off in a padded cell and straight jacket, Hollywood standards. The kid needs a middle name, so I suggest “Pencil Cumbersome.” Keep in mind when I think “pencil,” I’m not thinking of the fancy, mechanical variety. I’m thinking of the pain in the ass, chopped off, half a pencil, toothmarked, sitting in a crusty cardboard box variety you find in your public library … since they’re almost as dull and annoying as famous people who are only famous because their parents are famous. See below.