Tom Cruise is Tacky, Nutty and Bloody

Since he’s always crazy and always in the news, the following is a roundup of recent Tom Cruise stories:

In what was a close race, Tom Cruise won the title of “Tackiest Star of the Year”. He topped a list which also included Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Paris Hilton and Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. It would be very hard to beat out stiff competition like Paris Hilton, but we should expect this from an Oscar winning actor. Oh, wait … no Oscars for Tom. Oops.

Last week we learned that Tom Cruise went out and bought a $200,000 ultrasound machine so he could obsess over his (what can only be a) test tube baby in the privacy of his own home. Since he’s such a publicity hound charitable guy he’s announced he will be donating the machine to a hospital after the baby is born. The cool part is, Tom has very likely customized the machine with special Scientology laser beams which properly brainwash the fetus in the womb to save people the time and energy of doing it when the kid is capable of free thought.

Tom Cruise and the rest of team Mission Impossible 3 are pissing off the locals in Shanghai, China. They have been shooting the movie there for over a week and this weekend they shut down a major city street to film scenes (pictured below). Residents were forced to take numerous detours during rush hour traffic and were not offered any sort of compensation for their inconvenience. I’m sure Tommy would be more than happy to thank them by inviting them to visit one of the Scientology “massage” tents Cruise likely has erected on the set, not unlike the one he had on the set of War of the Worlds.