While many people are confined to things like wheelchairs and wishing they could get up and take at least one step, it takes two men to pull Janet Jackson off her ass (and back) to go for a jog, and she pays them to do it. If I was as rich as Janet I wouldn’t pay two personal trainer guys to make me run around on the beach. I’d pay two NFL players like Zach Thomas and Adam Archuleta to do it, but replace “run around” with “have sex with me”, “beach” with somewhere less sandy and “pay” with something less desperate and there you have something more closely resembling what’s going to happen when I’m as rich as Janet Jackson. Or when those guys find me naked and hiding in their lockers.
** Images removed.
Source credit removed by polite request.
Update: In response to the emails, no this is not Oprah Winfrey. This is, in fact, Janet Jackson. And you guys are meaner than me. That’s why I like you.