Yahoo! Entertainment has reaffirmed my faith in the unchanging nature of the human pysche with the story of Tonya Harding’s latest brush with the law. Here it goes:
Tonya Harding tussled in her home with a man she described as her boyfriend, prompting an emergency call by the figure skater-turned-boxer and an arrest of the man. Christopher Nolan was charged with assault and pleaded not guilty Monday. He told deputies Harding threw him down and bit his finger when he said she had too much to drink on Sunday. The 27-year-old Nolan was ordered to stay away from Harding and to avoid alcohol. Harding had a small cut over her right eye and an abrasion on her left cheek. Initially, Harding called 911 and said she was attacked by two masked men who came to her home and assaulted her before she could escape.”
I don’t have trouble believing any of that article, even the part where she threw her man down and bit his finger, but does she really think that the coppers would believe her about unknown masked men being the culprits? Does she even remember that little flap about Nancy Kerrigan? Because I sure do. I owe Tonya big time for giving me the idea to have my boyfriend maim all the chicks that worked at Hot Dog On A Stick with me so I could be employee of the month and get that sweet parking spot right by the mall employee entrance. He was the best boyfriend ever.