Tom Sizemore went bankrupt and decided it would be a good idea to create a porn site featuring him having sex with random people. I know most of you are already members of XXXTom.com and you’re familiar with this story, so sorry to insult your intelligence. He also has a tape called The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal and it includes an interview with him in which he boasts about a one night stand he had with Paris Hilton when she was 19 and “begged” him for sex after a party. In a recent interview with The Scoop Paris Hilton was quoted as saying,
It’s disappointing that Mr. Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs. He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him.”
No, no, no. That was not a Paris Hilton quote. She’s not like the toys in Toy Story who come to life when humans leave the room. And she would never use words like “acquaintance”, “nor”, “intimate” or “relations”. Those are, like, five dollar words in Paris Land, so it’s, like, really cheap and she’d totally pay some really, really smart and hot person to say them for her and then have sex with them like she did with Tom Sizemore.