Liv Tyler is maybe the only “amazing Hollywood beauty” who, if she tried to kiss me, I would do that thing where I lean back a little and instead offer her a hearty handshake. And not just cause she got so heavy. Her features don’t really come off as attractive in real life. And also cause she got so heavy. I don’t want to call her fat, but if she and I ever work in an office that sends us on a retreat, and we’re partnered up to do trust falls, she’s going to have trust issues from now on. By the way hun, that’s not how you use a bike helmet. Its not designed to be a counterweight to your more food.