Here’s my boyfriend, Johnny Depp, being ‘immortalized’ in Hollywood out in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater on September 16th. There he is in picture number three thinking of the countless ways he wants to immortalize me. Don’t be jealous because he’s not fantasizing about you. And don’t make fun of that get-up, either. He could add about twenty more necklaces and pull those pants all the way up to his neck and he’d still be delicious.
That girl you may have seen lying on the ground in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater spooning that slab of concrete and obsessively stroking his handprint while humming the tune to everyone’s favorite stalker song, Every Breath You Take, wasn’t me. Stop questioning me!