I’ve never actually seen Lost, the show that won the Emmy last night for Outstanding Drama, but not for lack of trying. It would be nice if it would get to the point. If they think I have the attention span to follow that show as it casually strolls through the plot, they haven’t seen my medicine cabinet. My understanding is that those people are trapped on an island with monsters, but that could mean dinosaur ghosts or alcoholic fathers for all I know. I would think dinosaur ghosts would be scary enough. Cause dinosaurs are scary and ghosts are scary, so combine their powers and you get an unkillable dinosaur, and I’m about to piss myself just thinking about it. My point – obviously – is how in the fuck did Dominic Monaghan end up dating Evangeline Lilly. The fact that a stud like me doesn’t have a girlfriend and the hobbit is banging a hottie like this brings the kind of depression not even suicide can solve. I would somehow be brought back to life just to cry some more.