Chesney is too phoney, Hewitt is too clothed and Moss is too high

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Jenny here with some links for y’all:

Four months after they were married, Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are having their marriage annulled. It’s refreshing to finally hear something other than the same old, monotonous “irreconcilable differences” as the excuse for a celebrity divorce. Renee cited “fraud” as the reason for their split. We can only assume “fraud” means Chesney finally took his giant cowboy hat and cool-guy puka shell necklace off long enough to reveal the insecure bald guy underneath. Don’t get me wrong, I think bald guys can be pretty sexy, but the bald guy needs to own his baldness. Chesney just seems like the type of guy who, when about to have sex, would lay there in the bed with the covers pulled up to his neck wearing nothing but his hat, and in a whiney voice beg Renee to go switch off the lights before he took it off.

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Gorilla Mask has asked us nicely to sign their petition to force Jennifer Love Hewitt to shut up and finally show everyone her boobs. Isn’t that really what everyone has been waiting for? Like that creep, Tom Cruise, Jennifer is the same person in every movie. Herself. But she does have a nice rack and that’s pretty much the only reason anyone cares about her and she keeps getting parts in movies I almost never watch. A decent nude scene and more acting classes is all the girl needs to boost her career. Oh, a personality might help, too.

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Lastly, in case you haven’t heard already, Kate Moss likes to snort big fat lines of coke. As seen in the picture below (courtesty of Gawker) someone snapped a photo of her doing her best Scarface impression on a CD cover at a recording studio where her boyfriend, Pete Doherty is working on his new album. It’s always a good idea in this day and age (when even infants are carrying camera phones) to break out your stash in public. And it’s an even better idea to choose a guy who smokes crack and heroin to be your boyfriend when you’re trying to kick the habit. Hey, at least she made it celebrity cool by snorting it through money while wearing go-go boots and a slutty skirt.

Thanks to hotties Matthew, Dietram and Nick for the heads up.