Bruce Willis is in charge

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MSNBC is reporting this morning that Bruce Willis has made it clear to ex-wife Demi Moore that he wants their children to be kept away from Kabbalah, her trendy Hollywood religion which is an offshoot of Judaism, but is often labeled as a cult by critics. The report says that Willis “strictly forbids” his children with Moore from being exposed to the controversial church. Says a source:

Bruce’s feelings are that Demi and Ashton can do whatever they want with their personal and religious lives, but he puts down his foot when it comes to his daughters and does not want them visiting the Kabbalah Centre.”

The reason so many people might think that Kaballah is a shadowy cult that demands secrecy and only cares about money is because they’re a shadowy cult that demands secrecy and only cares about money. Which totally reminds me that I need to finish my paperwork and start my shadowy religious Hollywood cult. I’ve narrowed our new God down to either a golden tiger or Cobra, the bad guy from G.I. Joe. I may have to kick some money back to Hasbro for the licensing rights, but that first night Kirsten Dunst gets attacked by rattlesnakes will make it worth every penny.