Brad Pitt is Jesse James

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The first official picture of Brad Pitt – with the black hair – as Jesse James came out today, a still from the upcoming The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford or what I like to call TAOJJBTCRF for short. IMDb sums up the movie like this:

Robert Ford joins Jesse James’s gang, only to become resentful of the legendary outlaw and hatch a plan to kill the fastest gun in the West.

Casey Affleck plays Ford, and I play a sexy kick boxer from the wrong side of the tracks who’s misunderstood by the family of his high society girlfriend, until he gives a big emotional speech in front of the entire ballroom at her sister’s wedding, and when he’s done, a slow applause builds across the room as his views and beliefs are accepted. And you’re asking, “Wow! You play that amazing man in the movie?” No, my friends, in my incredible real life.