Angelina Jolie is about to tip over

I don’t know what “Peace One Day” is, but based on my insider knowledge of Hollywood, it involves drum circles and calling Bush racist. And Angelina Jolie was there last night, accompanied by her ex-husband, her giant head and a shade of lipstick you normally only see on the base of a mans penis(*). I know Angelina has been this skinny for a while now, but it’s weird to see, especially when you consider that pictures always make you look heavier than you really are. But even with that, 1 out of 1 penisses that I have still recommend sex with her.

(*)before anyone freaks out, yes, that penis line is stolen word for word from Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk, a book that might be the greatest thing ever written, except for maybe Invisible Monsters by Palahniuk or Reasons to Live by Amy Hempell.