Mary-Kate is the new face of Calvin Klein

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MSNBC is reporting that Mary-Kate Olsen is the choice of Calvin Klein to become the face of his next campaign. Jeannette Walls writes:

The younger (by two minutes) half of the Olsen twins, stands five-feet, two-inches and was admitted to a clinic last year for an eating disorder. Still, she and sister Ashley are considered style icons by some, as the New York Times noted earlier this year, “In fact the twins are trendsetters for the latest hipster look. Calvin Klein, who famously launched the career of waif-like Kate Moss in a series of ads, wants Mary-Kate … to be featured in a campaign for his upcoming high-end collection.”

Mary Kate Olsen is to modeling what donkeys are to field goal kicking. I’m sure they could both technically do the job, but are you seriously telling me that this is the best option available? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t models supposed to make clothes look good? No matter what. Like, even if they were wearing Jamie Gum’s dress made from fat-girl skin, you would look at it and think, “well, sure, it looks good on these professional models…”

There’s no chance that anyone anywhere ever has looked at this and thought, “Yeah, I want to look like Mary Kate. Because everyone loves heartwarming aliens.” That has never ever ever happened. And that’s not the worst she can look. I saw a picture of her one time, and my penis literally fell off. Literally. I was reading a magazine and I turned the page and there she was, and then I just heard a “whump” sound as something fleshy hit the floor. Swear to God.

Images removed per request.