Brigitte Bardot is upset

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I’m sure I don’t need to explain that Brigitte Bardot was pretty much the hottest piece of ass on the planet in the 1960’s. And by that, I mean she was kind of a hussy. But now she’s a big animal rights activist in her home of France and her latest cause is for the government to outlaw the practice by French fishermen of using live puppies and kittens as shark bait. And if you’re not mumbling “Jesus I hate the French” under your breath right now, go read that last sentence again, because it said “live puppies and kittens as shark bait”.

According to a newspaper in Reunion, a French island located in the Indian Ocean, a six-month-old puppy was found last month with hooks implanted in its snout and one of its legs. The French Society for the Protection of Animals (SPA) told the paper that the dog was the victim of fishermen who attract sharks by throwing puppies or kittens into the water, tied to fishing lines, and wait for the predators to swallow the thrashing animals. “We don’t see that every day, but it’s not the first time, either,” said the vice-president of the SPA. “We’ve already seen cats six or seven months old with hooks in them.”

There’s a billion reasons to hate the French, and I’ll let you decide on your favorite. I guess sunshine and innocence wouldn’t stay on the hook, so they got the next best thing. Evil like this is normally only seen in cartoons, where ladies are tied to train tracks by guys in tophats with monocles and handlebar mustaches as they cackle manically. And normally they can only be stopped by a talking moose and a flying squirrel, but if you take an Armalite rifle and fire randomly at French fishing boats, that may also be effective.