Brad gives up smoking for Angelina

Lots of reports lately about the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie relationship growing stronger. Jolie has reportedly moved into Pitt’s Malibu home and it was reported a few days ago that Angelina introduced Brad to her mother after the two were seen with Wakka Wakka and the Tranny at the L’Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills, where Jolie’s mom, Marcheline Bertrand, lives. But with love comes sacrifice, and so now:

Brad Pitt has given up smoking – allegedly under the threat of a sex ban by Angelina Jolie. Sources claim the stunning actress has given the Hollywood heartthrob an ultimatum – cigarettes or sex – because she hates the smell.

An insider is quoted by Britain’s News of the World newspaper as saying: “It worked. Brad hasn’t smoked for almost two weeks.”

Angelina tried this same thing on me a few years ago. She said she didn’t like the smell and that Maddox was just a baby, and smoking was detrimental to the health of infants. So I kind of smirked and snorted and said, “yeah, how do you figure that?” And then she showed me a slide show covering 30 years of medical journals and testing that proved it. It was sad really. I guess Angelina just had a lot of growing up to do.

Later it was revealed that I never have smoked. And that who I thought was Angelina Jolie was really my Kim Possible doll. And that I had a natural gas leak under my house.