Compliments from hot chicks make me nervous. So when Crissy at the ice cream shop told me I had made an “excellent choice”, all I could think to say was that she too had made an excellent choice. And when she stared at me like I was an idiot, I really spazzed out and dropped the N-word a few times. Which was especially weird since everyone else there was white too. Needless to say, I’m not going out with Crissy. I can’t remember why I thought this was gonna be a good intro. It might be because I’ve written the “Jessica Simpson is getting divorced” story once a week for about 6 months now and I’m completely out of rational ways to do it. But this time the story might be different, and it started last night with the circulation of this email:
“Jessica Simpson and Johnny Knoxville are going public. Johnny is leaving his wife, Simpson is filing for divorce – they are shopping the exclusive story to the weeklies under Joe Simpson’s direction. Her PR instinct is that the news will break in next week’s weeklies to fuel some fire before the July 28th Dukes of Hazzard premiere.”
I spoke to a friend of mine who is in a position to know, and she says the story is true. And it follows on the heels of a New York Daily News report that Simpson and husband Nick Lachey were distant and cold during her 25th birthday party Saturday. Although they seem okay in the pictures below. But, then again, his dumb ass bought her spinners for her birthday, a gift somewhere between a bowling ball and a Jenny Craig membership on the romantic gift scale.