Tom Cruise is happy. And easily tricked.

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In an interview now online on Entertainment Weekly, Tom Cruise addresses some of his insane tendencies of late, including flopping around on Oprah, taking shots out of nowhere on Brooke Shields and his ramped up commitment to Scientology, the only thing that can save the lost souls here on Teegeeack, or what you humans call “Earth”. Before anyone is too hard on Tom, just remember that his body is inhabited by the wandering souls of fried space aliens. So that sucks. And laugh if you want, but once Xenu is freed from his electronic mountain trap and order is restored to the Galactic Confederation, (an alliance of 76 planets founded 95 million years ago) you’re gonna feel pretty silly. No offense all of you who don’t believe in Xenu, but you’re kinda makin an ass out of yourself.

Thanks to Christie for the Scientology link. And here’s another thanks to sex-kitten reader Jenny.