Britney Spears not in Playboy. Yet.

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The gossip site Glamour UK is reporting that “the editor of Playboy, Marilyn Grabowski, says he’d love to have Britney Spears in his magazine, but she asked for a ‘ridiculous’ amount of money when they approached her. ‘It was too much, let’s put it that way.'”

Playboy must have spent my subscription money on a time machine because Britney has pretty much looked like hell for two years now. Playboy could just open a thing of poppin-fresh dough, dress it like a tramp then put Britney’s picture and a lit cigarette at the top and it would pretty much be the same thing. I’d rather see my grandfather naked then Britney. The girl we used to know is gone. She could have glow-in-the-dark tentacles and a forked tongue now and not look any worse, so how about we turn our focus to new hotties like April Scott. I was on April’s website and I saw a picture of her ass, and then I stabbed myself in the eyes so I could go out with one perfect image. Totally worth it dude. Uhh, wait, I mean … tigksisdfdfj kgkqweokdgkgo.