Adam Brody is cheap and can’t tell a story

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“My first commercial was for a medication grade acne [treatment],” The OC star revealed this week. “They had to put me in like two hours of make-up … I’ve never seen it, but my friends have seen it. They did a ‘before’ and ‘after’ in the commercial and I started out with a lot of acne. And then they go to ‘after’ and I was like, ‘Well at least the audience will know that I really don’t have huge boils on my face because we’ll clean it off.’ And they were like, ‘Well, actually not so, buddy, because you’d have tons of acne scars.’ So then I hug my mom and I’m all like pock-marked. That’s in existence somewhere and $100 to whoever finds it! I’ve never seen it.”

I read that four times – mostly because I can barely read – but also because I got worried, because Adam Brody tells stories like he’s undercover and trying to work in a code word so the FBI knows that the deal has gone bad and it’s time to send in his backup. So, like, has anyone heard? Is he okay? Cause I’m totally gonna bang Rachel Bilson if he’s dead.