Thalia is next J.Lo

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It is shocking the variety of pickles you can get these days. Have you guys noticed that? Anyway, I might be the last person on the planet to have heard of Thalia. She seems to hold a microphone a lot, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess she’s a singer. All I know for sure is that when I look at her too long, an angel dies. I guess I hear she’s married to Tommy Mottola – Mariah Careys ex and the head of Sony Music – and she’s usually called “the next J.Lo”, which seems like kind of a mean shot to take at someone. J.Lo is a fat bitchy talentless lump who would wear a coat made out of puppies while Thalia is so devastatingly hot it makes you rethink how beautiful any one person can really be. I just renounced my faith in God she’s so hot. To be honest, I don’t really know what the hell I’m talkin about right now, cause I’m still too blown away by the fact that they have pickle slices that can fit on an entire hamburger, so there’s pickle in every bite. Holy Shit, what an age of wonders we live in!