Jessica Simpson is armed

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One of the many reasons America is so great is because every other country is a bunch of jungle heathens armed with pointy rocks and goat blood, whereas we have hotties like Jessica Simpson on the trigger of guns big enough to shoot down the moon. And these pictures of Jessica taken last week on a USO tour of Qatar and Iraq prove that not only is the US superior in the field of giant guns, but in the field of giant boobs too. Especially heartwarming is the almost unthinkable personification of everything the people we’re fighting hate: hot blond Christian white girls, not too smart and seductively dressed, ready to dispense justice and the American spirit while leading a sexy attack, thus confusing the enemy into masturbating instead of defending themselves. No offense rest of the world, but you guys should just roll over and take it now.