Christina Aguilera is nice

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Two years ago, Christina Aguilera was a tubby brunette mess mostly famous for videos that looked a lot like one of those interracial gangbang pornos that I’ve never downloaded. But now she’s the only sane voice in pop music, which I guess is kind of cool, regardless of how pathetically low that bar may be. It’s like winning “Cutest Necrophiliac.” It ain’t much, but, hey man, you won!

Oh, uhh, I should probably mention the point to all this, and it’s that Christina donated a few dozen micro chip ID scanners to humane societies in her hometown of Wexford, a suburb northwest of Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, Britney burned down an orphanage while cackling maniacally and J.Lo released a migrant worker in the woods so she could hunt the deadliest prey of all … MAN! (cue dramatic “Dun-Dun-Dun” music)

Thanks to Fonso for the link. And please tell me it’s okay that these Mickey Mouse pictures give me a raging hard on.