Avril Lavigne is drunk

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According to the unbelievably great Star magazine, friends of Avril Lavigne have begun to worry after witnessing her endless drunken antics first hand:

“One source who has known the singer since her childhood … tells Star that she appears to be in a downward spiral. ‘Avril’s drinking is getting worse and worse. She’s always liked to party but recently all she wants to do is get drunk. And when she gets drunk she wants to fight and cause trouble. She’s turning into a nightmare!'”

Avril is 5’3″, maybe a hundred pounds, so I don’t know how much trouble she could really stir up. One good punch should tuck her in for the night. My extensive study of drunk suburban white girls has taught me that they’re unlikely to morph into a bionic fighting tiger and extremely likely to curl up on the curb and vomit. So the only trouble would be for the curb. And since I tripped on a curb the other night and then fell down in a comedic way, I have no problem seeing those smart-asses taken down a peg.