Tom Brady is cool

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At the launch for the Victoria’s Secret book “Sexy”, supermodel Karolina Kurkova – one of the new wave of Russian models Vanity Fair went so confusingly insane about last month – seemed hell bent on making the moves on New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. At the party, she sent a message to Brady to have him come over so they could take a picture together, to which Brady declined, adding, “If she wants a picture, tell her to come over here.” Then – according to reports I made up based on the movie Red Heat – Brady told the commie, “I’m a citizen of the United Sates, the greatest country in the world, and these colors don’t run, comrade!” Then he put on a USA hockey jersey from the 80 Olympics and banged the life out of girlfriend Bridget Moynahan to celebrate America’s superiority in everything that matters. And a couple hours later, Tom rolled off Bridget, called up Karolina and asked, “What’s the name of this country? America? WELL I’M STAYIN!” Then he totally hung up on her. True story.