Kirsten Dunst is in love with herself

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“Recent rumors claimed that on/off couple Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal faked their July 2004 break-up to confuse the media and are preparing to wed in Dunst’s home state of New Jersey this spring. But Dunst’s spokesperson says the couple are just “good friends” and have no plans to wed. While Dunst was still dating Gyllenhaal last May, she said, ‘I’m too young to get married. It’s so annoying that they put pressure on you.'”

It takes an uncharted level of narcissism to go to all that trouble because you assume the world is consumed with your every move, because you think anyone gives a fuck about you and your dopey little relationship. Why is she even famous? Cause she’s a movie star? Uhh, not really. Let’s take a look at her most recent movies, shall we: ‘Wimbledon’ cost 45 million and grossed 17. ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ cost 90 and grossed 63 domestic. Whatever the hell ‘Levity’ was, it made $209,000. ‘The Cats Meow’ somehow made 3 million, even though no one has ever heard of it. ‘Crazy/Beautiful’ cost 25 and made 16. Have you ever even heard of these movies? Has anyone? ‘Bring It On’ is the only things she’s ever “starred” in that made money, and that didn’t even break 70 million. And that was 5 years ago. And yet she’s so consumed with herself she thinks we follow her every move with baited breath, wringing our hands, terrified that she’s not happy in love.

God I hate her so much.

note – I swear to God, no one better bring up Spider-Man. You could have cast a Indian totem pole in a wig as Mary Jane and it would have been just as good. In fact, it prolly would have been a hell of a lot better.