Katie Holmes has more problems

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Katie Holmes used to be adorable. That was like ten minutes ago. I don’t know what the hell happened since then, but she’s falling apart faster than a nazi at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I have five medical degrees and I still can’t figure out what’s wrong with her lips, and those are downright lickable compared to her hobbit like feet. Oddly enough though, she just became my number one choice to be stranded on a desert island with. Her body is still great, so I would use her lip sores to chip away at her self esteem and trick her into deviant sex, and she could use those mutant feet to climb the high trees for food and ward off our natural enemies.

Credit to Star for the picture. And thanks to whoever sent the link in. They didn’t include a name, so I’ll just assume it’s Krista Allen who is totally in love with me but too shy to make the first move. (spins his chair around to look out the giant window, taps his fingers together, “Soon my pet … soon.”)