It just dawned on me that I’ve never seen Jessica Alba act. I’ve never seen her in a movie. Unless you count those 150 hardcore sex tapes we made. But that was really more of a performance piece. And it seems the rest of you can take a shot at her now too, since – according to the new Cosmopolitan – Jessica Alba is open for business. Monkey business, that is. She tells the mag that she’s down for one night stands as long as your sorry ass is out the door by dawn. Which is for the best, trust me. All she ever wants to do in the morning is eat a bunch of chocolate donuts, argue about the BCS and arrange hot three ways with her model friends. I said no, Jess. Deal with it.
*update –In what may be the greatest thing anyone anywhere has ever said, Jessica is quoted in Star as saying, “I could have a one night stand and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?'”