the Ashlee Simpson Rules petition

“Ashlee Simpson is Amazing she is so cool and she writes her own music, (wich by the way is awsome) … Ashlee keep rockin and ignore the stupid haters who are just bent up on dissing you because they have such miserable lives of their own.”

I’m actually a little scared to write anything critical here, because anyone who types the ‘g’ at the end of ‘dissing’ has gotta be one bad brotha. But I’m really not clear on what the hell it is they’re trying to petition. What do they expect to happen? If I didn’t listen to that 12 year old when he yelled out, “hey mister, that’s my dog, give him back”, I’m sure as hell not gonna let them tell me what kind of music to like.

Whatever it is they hope to accomplish, they’re off to a pretty bad start because everyone who signed it so far either hates her, wants to kill her or wants to fuck her. Often times, in that order. Or worse, they actually do like her. Those are the ones who spell words with numbers. The ones who think sentences having a subject and a predicate is more of a suggestion than a rule. And when I run a spell check on the stuff they’ve written, the back of my computer starts to smoke. That’s quite a fan base you’ve carved out there Ashlee.

By brendon, February 24, 2005 0 comments