Another day, another squad member who’s ditched Taylor Swift. Once joined at the hip, Taylor and Karlie Kloss have fallen out, and it’s all because of Taylor’s embarrassing fauxmance with Tom Hiddleston. “Karlie actually warned Taylor that it was a bad, distasteful idea,” snitches a mutual friend. “Taylor slipped out and accused Karlie of being jealous, and they haven’t really spoken since.” Indeed, Karlie isn’t up for talking to – or about – her ex pal. She went so far as to cancel an Australian interview that had planned to ask about their friendship because “she didn’t have anything nice to say,” explains the source. “Things between them were never balanced: it was always Taylor calling the shots. Eventually Karlie was going to get tired of being her little minion.”
Even if this isn’t remotely true, it feels true, because Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who would scream, “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!” to friend she’s had for years if that friend points out an issue with her new dick. Milo kinda seems that way too.
Although I’d much rather see Idris Elba as 007 (yes, I know Idris Elba isn’t white much like I know Scarlett Johansson isn’t Asian), it looks like Michael Fassbender will probably be the next James Bond. Read this first, then feel free to type angry in the comments about that whole Scarlett Johansson thing.
James Norton and Michael Fassbender are the frontrunners to become the next James Bond in the week Daniel Craig became the second longest-serving 007. Craig has starred as the spy in four films over more than 11 years, although is it not known if he will continue in the franchise. His last outing as Bond was in 2015’s Spectre, but shortly after its release he said he would rather “slash my wrists” than appear in another film as the secret agent. According to bookmakers Coral, betting has surged on Norton or Fassbender taking over from Craig.
Fassbender has straight up said in interviews that he doesn’t want to play James Bond at all, but I’m sure if they come with enough Bond money, he’d play James Bond and any other Bond they’d like him to play. Maybe JaMarcus Bond. If dude can play a guy in a purple helmet and cape, he can’t be above playing a spy on a yacht who drowns in pussy.
I just realized this video of Kate Upton for the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue existed, but I wrote about how she got the cover after throwing a hissy fit if she didn’t so, so I’m gonna be like Christopher Nolan and close out this trilogy. Except this doesn’t have as many plot holes as it does huge tits and feigned modesty.
I just realized this video of Kate Upton for the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue existed, but I wrote about how she got the cover after throwing a hissy…
My apologies for hitting you with two Katy Perry poststoday, but the live mic feed of her Grammy performance has been leaked to YouTube. While nothing will every be as horrific as this, but you know when Katy asks “are we tone deaf?” in her new song? Yeah. Sounds like it.
Bella Thorne has been posting vacation bikini pics all over Instagram, and I don’t know where she is exactly, but based on her face, it appears meth isn’t really hard to find there. Not sure what’s going on with the boobs either. This is all just disappointing. She’s like a six-pack of Faygo away from a Juggalette beauty contest.
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: a couple escape a socialist/communist hellscape, migrate to America, start a business, put their kids through college, then their kids tweet “ugh America is the worst” on their iPhones. Tale as old as time. Luckily, Katy Perry‘s video for “Chained To The Rhythm” wants you to STAY WOKE. You’re all slaves!!!! America sucks, but it’s a fun amusement park where one day a black guy will pop out of a screen to share a Slate article with you and change your whole world view so much that you have to make a music video or something like that.
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: a couple escape a socialist/communist hellscape, migrate to America, start a business, put their kids through college, then their kids tweet “ugh…
As you already know, Disney’s best movie about Stockholm Syndrome, Beauty and the Beast, got a live action remake and Emma Watson stars as Belle and a computer stars as the Beast. They just put out a teaser of Emma Watson singing “Belle”, one of the songs from the movie where Belle walks through the town she hates while the townsfolk give her free food and talk shit and the horses are freaks for apples.
Guys. Lindsay Lohan really wants to play Little Mermaid in the live action reboot of Disney’s The Little Mermaid. I don’t know about you, but I need this to happen.
I will sing again, as #ariel #thelittlemermaid @disney approve that #billcondon directs it along with my sister @alianamusic singing the theme song for the soundtrack. also @kgrahamsfb plays Ursula. Simply because, she is the best. take one. @disneystudios
Like we already know this is gonna go to Emma Stone or Chloe Grace Moretz or whatever, but I want to see the version of The Little Mermaid where Ariel chain smokes and converts to Islam and causes a pandemic when she gets a vagina.