Justin Bieber Ran Over A Dude Outside A Church With His Monster TruckBy toddJuly 27, 2017
Justin Bieber Ran Over A Dude Outside A Church With His Monster Truck

 

Justin Bieber has once again returned to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, so he went to church in Beverly Hills last night. When he left, the sea did not part and he ran over a photographer.

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

But do not despair. Justin laid hands upon the man and he was saved (by medical professionals when they arrived).

Justin did not flee the scene and, in fact, stopped as soon as other photogs pointed out what had happened. Bieber stayed right by the man’s side for roughly 8 to 10 minutes until paramedics and police arrived.

It should be obvious to anyone that the power of Christ was flowing through Justin last night. He did not choose to become a vessel for the Lord, the Lord chose him to run over a non-believer in order to preach to him or whatever dumbass reason people believe their imaginary friend made something happen but really didn’t. If this offends you, I am deeply sorry. Please type “amen” in the comments to receive a full refund of your subscription fee.

 

  Justin Bieber has once again returned to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, so he went to church in Beverly Hills last night. When he left, the sea did…

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Emily Sears Isn’t BannedBy toddJuly 27, 2017

BTS for @maryhollandlingerie

A post shared by Emily Sears (@emilysears) on

 

Today looks like it’s gonna suck. The most exciting thing I’ve seen so far is Usher doing Carpool Karaoke. Nobody cares about that. So while I look for something that’s not that, here’s Emily Sears with her perfect ass in a thong doing whatever she’s doing. Anybody who doesn’t want to join the military should put this on when the recruiters come to your high school. LOOPHOLE.

BTS for @maryhollandlingerie A post shared by Emily Sears (@emilysears) on Jul 26, 2017 at 7:44pm PDT   Today looks like it’s gonna suck. The most exciting thing I’ve seen…

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Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months PregnantBy toddJuly 26, 2017
Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months Pregnant

 

A new Kardashian/West is dropping in 2018. Great.

In June, the 36-year old and husband, Kanye West began looking for a surrogate, and a source now tells Us Weekly they have cause to celebrate: Their pick — a San Diego mom in her late 20s, referred by an agency — is three months along, which means they’ll likely welcome Baby No. 3 in January 2018…The parents to North, 4, and Saint, 19 months, have agreed to pay $45,000 in 10 monthly installments of $4,500, according to a TMZ report. In the case of multiples, Kardashian and West will fork over $5,000 per additional child. This is all in addition to the whopping $68,850 deposit given to the agency.

Not sure if $45K is enough of an incentive to bring another Kardashian/West in this world, but people have bills to pay. Kim Kardashian is 36 and Khloe’s womb is dray and barren and there’s no way Kris Jenner is planning hinging future seasons on Rob and Blac Chyna’s baby, so cheap surrogates seem like the best business plan at this time.

 

  A new Kardashian/West is dropping in 2018. Great. In June, the 36-year old and husband, Kanye West began looking for a surrogate, and a source now tells Us Weekly they have cause to…

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Anne Hathaway Might Be ‘Barbie’ NowBy toddJuly 26, 2017
Anne Hathaway Might Be ‘Barbie’ Now

 

Remember when 2017 tried to go full 2017 and we almost had Amy Schumer as a live-action Barbie? She dropped out for some reason. That reason was probably Barbie doesn’t eat a pack of bagels everyday. Apparently Anne Hathaway is now in talks to play Barbie, because a 34-year-old brunette is the obvious choice to play Barbie after an overweight blonde. I would have went with a transgendered chick myself since that would be good publicity and Trump would tweet about it and the movie would get great reviews even if it sucked. I should really be a studio executive.

 

Also, here’s Amy Schumer being passive aggressive about the whole thing.

 

Hathaway smathaway jkjk she’s perfect!! Can’t wait to see it!

A post shared by @amyschumer on

 

  Remember when 2017 tried to go full 2017 and we almost had Amy Schumer as a live-action Barbie? She dropped out for some reason. That reason was probably Barbie…

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‘Wonder Woman 2’ Drops In 2019By toddJuly 26, 2017
‘Wonder Woman 2’ Drops In 2019

 

Since it made money, Wonder Woman is getting a sequel. Kids today will never know about when movies actually had to be good to get a sequel, so Wonder Woman 2 is probably the closest they’re gonna get to that.

Wonder Woman 2, the follow-up to this year’s superhero hit, will hit theaters Dec. 13, 2019. Talks with Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins to return are ongoing, and she has not officially been announced as being aboard the project…Wonder Woman 2 is the only release slated for Dec. 13, 2019. The date announcement comes a week after Warners set dates for a number of mystery films, including an untitled DC movie for Feb. 14, 2020.

Wonder Woman 2 is supposed to take place in the 80s during the Cold War, so hopefully she doesn’t team up with Osama Bin Laden. Rambo already did that and we see how that turned out. I assume “talks with Patty Jenkins” means they offered Patty Jenkins what she got paid for Wonder Woman and she was like “lol nah” then showed them the box office receipts and screened the movie for them again and pointed out that it was good and made sense. I know how DC might be confused by that.

 

  Since it made money, Wonder Woman is getting a sequel. Kids today will never know about when movies actually had to be good to get a sequel, so Wonder…
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‘Justice League’ Is Having Extensive Reshoots. Great.By toddJuly 25, 2017
‘Justice League’ Is Having Extensive Reshoots. Great.

 

Every DC movie so far has been a cinematic masterpiece, and if you don’t think so, then you’re just either a Marvel shill or you just don’t understand great movies. Suicide Squad made more money than The Godfather, so you know it’s better. Wonder Woman’s boyfriend saved everyone from dying at the end of Wonder Woman, so if you don’t think little girls will look up to that, then you just don’t understand feminism and you probably hate women. Little girls literally had no female role models to look up to before Wonder Woman, so I hope you think about them before you trash that movie. Justice League is going to be a masterpiece as well, and you’re a hater if you don’t realize that. It’s so great already they’re doing a bunch of reshoots and pissing off the cast. Tell us about it Variety!

The studio, which had no comment on the scheduling trouble, is spending approximately $25 million on extensive reshoots that have dragged on for roughly two months in London and Los Angeles, according to multiple insiders…It’s standard for big Hollywood movies to schedule a few weeks of pick-up work, but the cost and time allotted to the work on “Justice League” is raising some eyebrows. Reshoots, or additional photography, to use the preferred studio nomenclature, traditionally cost between $6 million and $10 million, and rarely have to juggle so many competing schedules. They typically last a week or two.

Nice. Sounds like they really know what they’re doing. Also, check the end credits for the person who worked on Henry Cavill’s mustache.

Cavill’s issues are even more thorny. “Justice League’s” Man of Steel had expected to be able to finish shooting the sixth “Mission: Impossible” film before needing to don Superman’s spandex again. That has not been the case, however, as the new scenes that are being shot have required him to jump back and forth from each production. Because of this, a mustache he grew for his character in the “Mission: Impossible” sequel will have to be digitally removed in post-production. Paramount, which is distributing the “Mission: Impossible” sequel, would not allow Cavill to shave the facial hair while production was taking place.

Why can’t Superman have a mustache? Superman is sad and depressing and the whole world hates him, so a mustache would really show that visually. Why the mustache-shaming? Also, what has Joss Whedon been doing? Joss Whedon things, of course.

Then there is the question of crediting. Joss Whedon has now spent months overseeing the project, but he will not receive a co-directing credit, according to an insider….Sources say “Justice League” reshoots have been used to punch up the dialogue. Whedon, the director of “The Avengers,” is well respected for his ability to create memorably wry exchanges between his characters. The set pieces Snyder shot are said to be usable, but Whedon has been working on “connective tissue” that was needed to link sequences.

It’s always comforting to hear that the footage the original director of a $300M movie be described as “usable”, but if Joss Whedon is on board, that means funny quips! Big fun! Banter! Just what you want in your dark tone that’s no way supposed to be like Marvel in any way. If this movie doesn’t get at least 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, fans should riot in the street.

 

  Every DC movie so far has been a cinematic masterpiece, and if you don’t think so, then you’re just either a Marvel shill or you just don’t understand great…

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Kendall Jenner Got Naked For SomethingBy toddJuly 25, 2017
Kendall Jenner Got Naked For Something

 

When she’s not solving racism and police brutality, Kendall Jenner is a model because brands need people with a large social media following to walk in a straight line then promote the stuff they want to sell on Instagram.  I hope that clears that up. Sometimes that means posing nude and letting CGI experts do things with your mouth. Enjoy.

(more…)

  When she’s not solving racism and police brutality, Kendall Jenner is a model because brands need people with a large social media following to walk in a straight line…

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Rihanna’s Breasts Did The ‘Valerian’ European PremiereBy toddJuly 25, 2017
Rihanna’s Breasts Did The ‘Valerian’ European Premiere

 

So Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets  isn’t doing so great at the box office. I guess if you’re planning on making a movie, casting Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne as your leads probably wouldn’t be the best idea. Save money by casting two pieces of bland white bread and gluing eyes on them. Or something that’s more boring than that. Not sure how it would work, but you could cast the movie Boyhood as your lead. This post is about Rihanna‘s boobs in this dress, so I guess we should talk about those. It appears to be some sort of push up thing that make her boobs look bigger. This site isn’t just about boobs, we also cover science things. Making women’s boobs look bigger has been a huge science thing for a while.

 

  So Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets  isn’t doing so great at the box office. I guess if you’re planning on making a movie, casting Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne…

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Emily Ratajkowski Is Naked AgainBy toddJuly 24, 2017
Emily Ratajkowski Is Naked Again

 

This may come as a shock, so you better sit down, but Emily Ratajkowski is naked again. She’s naked again this time for LOVE Magazine. She says she can’t get acting roles because people only care about her boobs, so I don’t think this is an audition for a movie. I’ve seen her boobs more than boobs I actually know. See the overexposed magic below:

(more…)

  This may come as a shock, so you better sit down, but Emily Ratajkowski is naked again. She’s naked again this time for LOVE Magazine. She says she can’t…

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Liev Schreiber’s Son Dressed Like Harley Quinn For Comic-ConBy toddJuly 24, 2017
Liev Schreiber’s Son Dressed Like Harley Quinn For Comic-Con

 

When people in the future read about 2017, there will be a chapter about how people tried to find their self-worth in characters from comic book movies designed to sell toys, and the people in the future will just laugh and laugh. There might be a chapter about Liev Schrieber’s son, who liked Harley Quinn’s costume, decided to wear it because it was cool, then had grown adults praising him as a hero when all he wanted was to dress up then go get some chicken nuggets. There will probably be an addendum to that chapter where people turned on him when he got older because he said he also liked 2nd Amendment and drug testing people who get welfare. But until then, this little boy is obviously a hero.

 

  When people in the future read about 2017, there will be a chapter about how people tried to find their self-worth in characters from comic book movies designed to…

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