Nicki Minaj Did GQ By todd October 21, 2014
Nicki Minaj Did GQ

 

Damn, these dogs look better than Renee Zellweger, but they are just in the picture to support Nicki Minaj because Nicki Minaj is in next month’s GQ. I’d lose about four inches going in, but I guess I should go ahead and tell you guys, but I’d bang the hell out of Nicki Minaj. I feel like I owe you the truth. But mostly I just wanted to get Renee Zellweger off the top of the page since I can’t actually set the post on fire.

  Damn, these dogs look better than Renee Zellweger, but they are just in the picture to support Nicki Minaj because Nicki Minaj is in next month’s GQ. I’d lose…

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This Thing Identifies Itself As “Renee Zellweger” By todd October 21, 2014

 

The 21st Annual ELLE WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD AWARDS were last night (WENN has it in all caps for some reason), and they must have used biometric hand scanning, because whatever this is, was let in under the name “Renee Zellweger”. Bitch looks like Robin Wrong Penn.

  The 21st Annual ELLE WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD AWARDS were last night (WENN has it in all caps for some reason), and they must have used biometric hand scanning, because…

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Ariana Grande Does Kaballah Now Because God Hates Her Gay Brother By todd October 21, 2014

I was unaware that Adriana Grande was Catholic, but that’s good, because she’s not anymore since her brother is gay and Christians hate gays. Apparently esoteric Jewish mystics are down with the rainbow or something I honestly don’t know.

Ariana Grande has revealed that she turned to the Kabbalah faith after her homosexual brother was rejected by the Catholic Church. The 21-year-old singer disagreed with the Christian faith’s teachings about elder sibling Frankie’s sexuality but they both found a ‘connection’ with the offshoot of Judaism that has many a celebrity follower. She explained: ‘When my brother was told that God didn’t love him I was like, “OK, that’s not cool.” They were building a Kabbalah centre in Florida so we both checked it out and really had a connection with it.’… ‘Since then, my life has unfolded in a really beautiful way, and I think that it has a lot to do with the tools I’ve learned through Kabbalah, I really do.’

People keep telling me God doesn’t hate anyone, just most of his people do, but God will make you suffer eternally if you don’t worship him. It’s really confusing. But if God was a real thing, I don’t think he’d hate Ariana’s brother because he was gay, he’d hate him because he’s an asshole. And not in the way that gays like, but the figurative kind. And I really don’t know what Kabbalah is really, all I know is that you get a red string do yoga maybe? Jewish girls love yoga, so I’m just guessing.

I was unaware that Adriana Grande was Catholic, but that’s good, because she’s not anymore since her brother is gay and Christians hate gays. Apparently esoteric Jewish mystics are down…

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Kim Kardashian Decided To Wear This For Some Reason By todd October 21, 2014

Kim Kardashian obviously has a stylist who secretly hates her and wants her to die from holding her breath, because there’s no way in hell she should be walking around in half the shit she wears, because right now that skirt looks make her look like a fruit roll up that’s never eaten a piece of fruit. The stitches in every part of this outfit need an inhaler. Christ. She looks like a blowup doll that was blown up with a defective PSI gauge.

Kim Kardashian obviously has a stylist who secretly hates her and wants her to die from holding her breath, because there’s no way in hell she should be walking around…

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Blake Lively Is Super Pregnant By todd October 21, 2014

I feel it hasn’t been that long since Blake Lively announced she was pregnant, so I feel like she should be smaller than this. She should be smaller than this, right? There’s no way the baby can be this big now. Either way, everything below the waist is gonna be Nightmare on Vagina Street in a few months and the hot Blake Lively we all know and love will be lost to us forever, because biology doesn’t care about the media’s standard of beauty. Biology should really get on board with that. Women can do anything, so if they truly want equal rights, I don’t think it would kill them not be gross after they have a baby. Every time I get somebody pregnant, I look the same. Not sure what the big deal is.

I feel it hasn’t been that long since Blake Lively announced she was pregnant, so I feel like she should be smaller than this. She should be smaller than this,…

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Tori Spelling Has Ebola Maybe By todd October 20, 2014

Tori Spelling couldn’t get a call back for Sharknado 2, so this is probably the best PR she’s had in a while.

Sources tell us Tori was running a fever, coughing uncontrollably, and having trouble breathing … when she was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. We’re told Tori was quarantined from other patients, and medical staff took precautions while treating her. While it sounds scary … we’re told it’s NOT Ebola — but instead Tori was admitted for a severe case of bronchitis with a sinus infection. Doctors are running blood tests, and a lung specialist is going to check out her bronchitis. We’re told Tori had to cancel a scheduled press tour for the 2nd season of her reality show.

I mean, we’ll all have Ebola eventually, but if we’re making a list of who dies before me, can we get some people who I didn’t think were already dead? I think the world would be a better place without the cast of Big Bang Theory, no?

Tori Spelling couldn’t get a call back for Sharknado 2, so this is probably the best PR she’s had in a while. Sources tell us Tori was running a fever,…

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Jena Malone Is Robin In ‘Batman v. Superman’ By todd October 20, 2014

Zack Snyder ruins everythingso not only did he cast a spastic AV nerd as one of the greatest villains of all time in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, he’s also adding Robin.

“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” will reportedly feature a female Robin, with actress Jena Malone rumored to be playing Carrie Kelly, according to a local news station in Detroit. WILX-10 News station reporter Kirk Montgomery spoke with one of the extras at Michigan State University, where a scene involving Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) and Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) was being filmed this week. “I’ve also learned that the character of Robin is now female,” he said alluding to the film’s top secret script. Warner Bros. declined to comment. Malone, who appeared in “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire,” has been seen on the WB set and recent movie premieres sporting a new red hairdo.

This movie is supposedly heavily influenced by Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns, and in that, Robin is apparently a ginger named “Carrie”. Unsure if her getting her first period or going to the prom will be a plot point or not, but do we really need a Robin? I don’t even care that Robin is a girl, because Robin is a chick’s name anyway and Robin wears booty shorts and a tiny cape, but why am I even getting upset over this? I feel like I typed too much about this.

Zack Snyder ruins everything,  so not only did he cast a spastic AV nerd as one of the greatest villains of all time in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice,…

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Justin Bieber Is Banging Barbara Pavlin Because He Loves Selena Gomez By todd October 20, 2014

 The world is an unjust and lawless place and whoever made it should unplug it and plug it back in, because Justin Bieber is banging Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Pavlin when he’s not dickmatizing Selena Gomez.

 Justin Bieber is desperate to get Selena Gomez back, but we learned EXCLUSIVELY that Justin is hooking up with Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Palvin again. The love saga between Justin Bieber, 20, and Selena Gomez, 22, continues. Justin has made many sweet attempts to win her back, but a source reveals to HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY that Justin is hooking back up with former flame Barbara Palvin, 21, to spark some fire into Selena! “Right now, he’s hooking him back up with Barbara Palvin,” a source dished to HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “They been talking again. Justin is pissed that Selena is ignoring him and he knows that would hurt her, so he’s all for it anything he can do to get her attention and if it’s not good attention then he’ll go for bad attention.” As of late, Justin has been trying everything to get back together with Selena. From flaunting his sexy abs on Instagram to reaching out to her family, Justin’s not afraid to show how he feels.

So to recap, Justin Bieber is having sex with Barbara Pavlin because he wants Selena Gomez back. Man, that’s real love right there. Not sure how Selena will be able to ignore such a grand romantic gesture. Also, if I’m banging Barbara Pavlin, I wouldn’t even remember how to spell “Selena”.

 

 The world is an unjust and lawless place and whoever made it should unplug it and plug it back in, because Justin Bieber is banging Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Pavlin…

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Why? By todd October 20, 2014

 

For some reason, the CDC and Obama haven’t shut down flights to stop on Miley Cyrus‘ Bangerz tour, because it’s all part of a plan to cause mass panic and institute martial law, so the world will be infected with Miley Cyrus’ music and socialist Illumnati space lizards can make money off the vaccine while taking your guns and freedoms. See? That’s how stupid you sound on Facebook right now.

  For some reason, the CDC and Obama haven’t shut down flights to stop on Miley Cyrus‘ Bangerz tour, because it’s all part of a plan to cause mass panic…

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Emily Ratajkowski Is Topless, Links By todd October 20, 2014
Emily Ratajkowski Is Topless, Links

 

Xander from  Buffy The Vampire Slayer got arrested  [Dlisted]

Paris Hilton is now a brunette. That’s hot  [Fishwrapper]

Iggy Azalea has a massive camel toe (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Kelly Brook is not single anymore, wears these shorts  [The Superficial]

Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz touris still mostly her non-existent ass [Hollywood Tuna]

Blake Lively is all legs [Popoholic]

Vanessa Hudgens has grown a butt [Drunken Stepfather]

Peyton Manning is the NFL’s all-time passing TD leader [Hollywood Life]

Justin Theroux has been engaged to Jennifer Aniston since 2012, won’t discuss wedding plans with her [Celebitchy]

Melissa Howe behind the scenes for Playboy   [Moe Jackson]

Joanna Kupra is hot as hell  [Celebslam]

  Xander from  Buffy The Vampire Slayer got arrested  [Dlisted] Paris Hilton is now a brunette. That’s hot  [Fishwrapper] Iggy Azalea has a massive camel toe (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver…

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