I have a friend in Vegas right now who is at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo and he Facebook wall looks like ads you have to click through to watch actual porn. Anyway, here’s some pictures of some porn people who are in attendance. I didn’t see Jennifer Lawrence but I hope she’s up for some kind of award.
Rihanna is technically a model, and if you don’t consider her a model, she’s hotter that 80% of models, so naturally Leonardo DiCaprio’s penis has been inside her 80% of the way for years apparently.
We know that Leo and RiRi have had a flirty few weeks since they were spotted together on New Years Eve but apparently, the two have been hooking up for years according to Us. That would mean that Rihanna was sneaking around behind Chris Brown and Drake’s back to secretly hook up with Leo — yikes! Leo also had a relationship with Toni Garn during this time…”After his breakup, Leo started texting Rihanna again. They decided to have some fun,” a source said. “Neither one is looking to make this anything more than fun. He’s into her, and they’re enjoying it.”
Not only do Leonardo DiCaprio and Rihanna have life completely figured out, but when DiCaprio dies, his penis should have its own monument.
I probably could have made this headline more interesting, so you’d click only to find the article was boring, but Upworthy doesn’t pay me. Anyway, Charlize Theron was walking LA yesterday and THE REASON WILL SHOCK YOU! Esquire photoshoot. She’s doing a photoshoot for Esquire. Here are some pics the photographer on the shoot didn’t take.
In decent light and at certain angles, Miley Cyrus doesn’t look like a person of interest in a meth ring, and I guess this is one of those times. She looks likes an escort perfect for any budget. Congrats, Miley. Keep up the decent work.
I’ve been here for a long time, and if you would have told me that Lindsay Lohan would still be alive in 2015, I would have thrown my Motorola RAZR at your face. She does have an incurable virus, so I guess my prediction was half right.
Lindsay Lohan is in a London hospital with a rare, incurable virus she apparently picked up in Bora Bora … TMZ has learned. We’re told Lindsay contracted Chikungunya, a virus transmitted by mosquito bites that causes fever, joint pain and fatigue. Lindsay vacationed in Bora Bora over the holidays and then flew to L.A. to shoot an Esurance commercial … we believe for the Super Bowl. Lindsay began complaining of the illness just before New Year’s. She then went back to London where she became so ill she couldn’t walk. Lindsay is currently in King Edward VII’s Hospital … the same place the Queen gets treated. They’re keeping Lindsay because she has a high fever and the joint pain is unbearable. As for her prognosis … we’re told the joint pain could last for months.
Lindsay should make a full recovery, because as we know, joints were never Lindsay’s problem.
Cara Delevigne sunbathing topless. (NSFW) Taxi Driver Movie
Iggy Azalea thinks she’s the Nelson Mandela of hip-hop Dlisted
This is the cover of Kim Kardashian’s selfie book Celebslam
MOTHER OF GOD The Superficial
Kennedy Summers in a bikini Hollywood Tuna
Close your legs, Demi. Please. Drunken Stepfather
Jenna Dewan has mom ass Popoholic
Clint Eastwood thinks all your wars are dumb Celebitchy
When Kate Upton looks in the mirror, this probably what she thinks she looks like:
Look, I’m not saying Liv Tyler shouldn’t post pregnant pics on Instagram, but if Live Tyler could not post pregnant pics on Instagram that would be ideal. I’m happy that a human being is growing inside you, but like, maybe wait until it comes out to show us. And like make sure you wipe it off and stuff before. And use a filter. But not Kelvin. Kelvin is dumb.
CLEANSE YOUR EYES IN THE WATERS OF LAKE 90s:
Pop star Justin Timberlake’s Italian restaurant Destino was forced out of business by ruptured plumbing that spewed human waste on the walls, the former restaurant partners reveal for the first time in a new lawsuit against their insurance company. The celebrity-friendly eatery, which the “Sexy Back” singer opened in 2006 with two partners at First Avenue and 50th Street, was twice flooded with raw sewage, according to the the Manhattan civil suit filed Tuesday….The insurance company rushed Destino to reopen in November 2013, the suit claims, but a few days after re-launching, a pipe fell from the basement ceiling and drenched a recently stocked food area with sewage, which led to a mold infestation. Reports on the eatery closing down had pegged it to mere flooding problems….The insurer denied Destino’s claims, including $275,000 for repair and unspecified business losses.
This restaurant billed itself as “celebrity-friendly”, and one of the regulars was Bill Cosby, so there’s probably some higher force at work here.
In 1986, Mark Wahlberg, then 15, and his friends attacked 12-year, Jesse Coleman (who is black) while he was minding his own business walking down the street. They chased him, threw rocks at his head, and screamed racial epithets while injuring two of Coleman’s classmates. The next day, they did the same thing to Jesse, screaming “Kill the nigger!” before an ambulance driver came to Coleman’s aid. One of the classmates, Kristyn Atwood, still has a scar from attack. Wahlberg’s punishment? A civil rights injunction. Meaning, he walked in court and they said, “lol we can’t beat up on niggers anymore, white boy. be on your way lol”. Two years later, Wahlberg attacked two Vietnamese immigrants, Thanh Lam and Hoa Trinh, while he was trying to steal beer. Graduated from rocks, Wahlberg beat Thanh Lam unconscious with a stick, leaving him permanently blind in one eye, while screaming “gook” and “Vietnam fucking shit”. His punishment? 45 days in jail. In 1992, Wahlberg fractured his neighbor’s jaw, because the dude just happened to be standing there. Later, Wahlberg co-opted black culture to make millions as a rapper. He wants to be pardoned now, because he’s a famous movie star. His victims want him to go fuck himself.
“I don’t think he should get a pardon,” Kristyn Atwood tells the Associated Press. Atwood, now 38, was one of a group of mostly black 4th grade students on a class trip whom Wahlberg and his white friends threw rocks and shouted racial slurs at during an incident in 1986. “I don’t really care who he is,” Atwood says. “It doesn’t make him any exception. If you’re a racist, you’re always going to be a racist. And for him to want to erase it, I just think it’s wrong.”
So when Wahlberg said he would have prevented 9/11 if he would have been on the plane, it wasn’t because he is some warped version of an American hero that we’re all deluded in believeing, it’s because he just likes beating the shit out of brown people. And 9/11 would have given him an excuse to kill some. Hey, that’s basically the plot of American Sniper. Wahlberg should have just enlisted instead and avoided all this headache.