Lena Dunham Is Coming To ‘American Horror Story’ For Some ReasonBy toddJuly 20, 2017
Lena Dunham Is Coming To ‘American Horror Story’ For Some Reason

 

Since we haven’t discovered a pesticide to get rid of her, Lena Dunham is coming back to TV in season 7 of American Horror Story.

 

 

When she’s not partly responsible for making Presidential candidates lose or making a dog’s life a hellish nightmare, Lena Dunham acts and says a lot of stupid shit on Twitter. Hopefully Ryan Murphy will kill her on the show and we can get to see what that would look like. The world is a terrible place and we need to find joy wherever we can.

  Since we haven’t discovered a pesticide to get rid of her, Lena Dunham is coming back to TV in season 7 of American Horror Story.   Thrilled that my…

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Tara Reid Is Doing Very WellBy toddJuly 20, 2017
Tara Reid Is Doing Very Well

 

Sorry to do this to you, but here’s Tara Reid at the Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets premiere. Apparently this movie is just kinda okay. And apparently Tara Reid has been working at a bank and refused to give an old gypsy woman a loan. There should be a Tara Reid Sex Challenge but I can’t think of an issue but no issue needs that much awareness.

 

  Sorry to do this to you, but here’s Tara Reid at the Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets premiere. Apparently this movie is just kinda okay. And apparently…

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Here’s Eva Longoria In A BikiniBy toddJuly 19, 2017
Here’s Eva Longoria In A Bikini

 

If you have an app on your phone to send you to 2005, you might be more interested of these pics of Eva Longoria in a bikini. I assume the man in these pics is her boyfriend. If not, I can’t tell which one is the most thirsty. Also not sure why she keeps touching her stomach. Is she pregnant? I don’t think the guy would be this happy if that was the case.

 

  If you have an app on your phone to send you to 2005, you might be more interested of these pics of Eva Longoria in a bikini. I assume…

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Guess Which One Is Kylie JennerBy toddJuly 19, 2017
Guess Which One Is Kylie Jenner

 

You really don’t need me to tell you why Madame Tussauds’ wax thing of Kylie Jenner is their most realistic wax thing of all time. If Kylie Jenner was in Bladerunner, she’d be the first one killed because she would be the obvious choice. You wouldn’t even need to do that test. Just shoot on sight. I also included some pics of her Instagram to compare. It’s the real Kylie Jenner in those pics. Or is it though? Maybe the real Kylie Jenner died three years ago. We just don’t know.

 

  You really don’t need me to tell you why Madame Tussauds’ wax thing of Kylie Jenner is their most realistic wax thing of all time. If Kylie Jenner was…

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Jennifer Lawrence Threw Up In The Lobby Of Broadway’s ‘1984’By toddJuly 19, 2017
Jennifer Lawrence Threw Up In The Lobby Of Broadway’s ‘1984’

 

Apparently the Broadway production of George Orwell is so NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL EDGY that people in the audience routinely vomit. But Jennifer Lawrence is so relatable and down-to-Earth that she vomited because she thinks she’s immune to viruses.

“Midway through the show, Jennifer Lawrence bolted from her seat. Several people saw her getting sick in the lobby. The ushers were very helpful and courteous in helping her out.” But a friend of Lawrence’s explained that the star’s reaction had nothing to do with the play but rather, “She caught the stomach flu from her nephews.” The pal added that poor Lawrence is “really sick.” While Lawrence handled the situation with impressive aplomb, others have not made it out of “1984” unscathed.

Remember in Contagion when a worldwide epidemic was started by a white lady who decided to get on a plane even though she was really sick? Jennifer Lawrence had a stomach virus and decided to sit in a crowd of a Broadway show. Then threw up all over the only exit. White ladies are always doing the most.

  Apparently the Broadway production of George Orwell is so NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL EDGY that people in the audience routinely vomit. But Jennifer Lawrence is so relatable and…

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Emily Ratajkowski Is Talking About Her Breasts Again For Some ReasonBy toddJuly 18, 2017
Emily Ratajkowski Is Talking About Her Breasts Again For Some Reason

 

Emily Ratajkowski has really been doing the most trying to be some kind of feminist icon lately, because somebody told her she was the first woman to have big breasts or something. I’m not sure. Anyway, she did an interview with Allure where she’s talking about her tits again.

It really bothers me that people are so offended by breasts,” she says, as a white-haired woman, clearly eavesdropping, shoots us a punishing look. Ratajkowski is dressed like the world’s most conservative rock star — flared forest-green velvet pants and a black double-breasted jacket with her hair tucked into the back. Stevie Nicks in a boardroom. And she either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about the double, triple, and quadruple takes going on around her. “That’s when I realized how fucked our culture is,” she continues. “When we see breasts, we don’t think of beauty and femininity. We think of vulgar, oversexualized images.”

Was Emily Ratajkowski not allowed into an industry event because somebody said she couldn’t come in looking like a Russian escort? There seems to be some projecting here. Is there some Earth 2 that she visits where people are offended by breasts? Does this Earth 2 also not have Instagram where she posts oversexualized images for no real reason on the daily? Like, you can’t even see her face in this pic? What exactly are we supposed to be looking at? Emily, look, I’m sorry if a mean person said you have ugly breasts or whatever. I promise you don’t. They’re very nice. It’s the rest that’s kind of annoying. Love you!

 

  Emily Ratajkowski has really been doing the most trying to be some kind of feminist icon lately, because somebody told her she was the first woman to have big breasts…

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Rihanna Did The ‘Valerian’ PremiereBy toddJuly 18, 2017
Rihanna Did The ‘Valerian’ Premiere

 

Rihanna is playing a shape-shifting alien in Luc Besson’s Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets, and I was told by management not to discuss how Hollywood is blackwashing shape-shifting aliens for a casting gimmick. I guess I’m just too woke. But obviously, as you can see, Rihanna attended the premiere and she’s not a shape-shifting alien. It’s just a shame that so many filmmakers use human actors to portray aliens from different planets. This is very problematic. You can look at these pictures of Rihanna being hot in this dress if you want to, but you’re just perpetuating the lack of alien representation seen in movies today.

 

  Rihanna is playing a shape-shifting alien in Luc Besson’s Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets, and I was told by management not to discuss how Hollywood is blackwashing…

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I Forgot Megan Fox Was On InstagramBy toddJuly 18, 2017
I Forgot Megan Fox Was On Instagram

 

Only 2009-2010 kids will remember when I used to posted about Megan Fox legit every day like twice a day, because she was hotter than whatever you’re into now in 2017. Since then, it appears her and her plastic surgeon have become pretty close. It happens. So maybe that’s why she cropped her face out of this pic. Still would. Yes, my friends. Still would.

 

  Only 2009-2010 kids will remember when I used to posted about Megan Fox legit every day like twice a day, because she was hotter than whatever you’re into now…

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Caitlyn Jenner Wants To Run For OfficeBy toddJuly 17, 2017
Caitlyn Jenner Wants To Run For Office



Caitlyn Jenner is considering running for Senate or something else in California. This is Trump’s America.

Jenner revealed that Sunday during an interview with John Catsimatidis on AM 970 in New York City (via Complex’s Kyle Neubeck):

I have considered it, I like the political side of it. The political side of it has always been very intriguing to me. Over the next six months or so, I [have to] find out where I can do a better job. Can I do a better job from the outside, kind of working the perimeter of the political scene, being open to talk to anybody? Or are you better off from the inside. And we are in the process of determining that.”

 Should she run, Jenner would almost certainly run as a Republican, given her outspoken support for the party.
Caitlyn Jenner has killed someone with her car, so she has the qualifications to either be a Senator or date Sarah Jessica Parker. Democrats thought she was one of them because she used to be a man, but turns out that transitioning doesn’t make you transition from being rich. We really swung and missed on that one, huh? Better luck next time.
Also, here’s Black Chyna’s mom. She has some thoughts about Caitlyn Jenner. I think I’m supposed to say “TRIGGER WARNING” for this.


Caitlyn Jenner is considering running for Senate or something else in California. This is Trump’s America. Jenner revealed that Sunday during an interview with John Catsimatidis on AM 970 in…

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R. Kelly Is Holding Women PrisonerBy toddJuly 17, 2017
R. Kelly Is Holding Women Prisoner

 

Apparently R. Kelly didn’t appreciate you saying he abused women and pissed on teenage girls, so he changed his tactics and created a secret brainwashing cult where he can abuse women and piss on teenage girls without going to jail. This article Buzzfeed posted this morning is some disgusting shit.

The women in Kelly’s entourage initially think “This is R. Kelly, I’m going to live a lavish lifestyle,” said Mack, who worked as Kelly’s personal assistant for a year and a half starting in 2013 and has remained in touch with some members of his inner circle. “No. You have to ask for food. You have to ask to go use the bathroom. … [Kelly] is a master at mind control. … He is a puppet master.”

Yeah. It gets worse. Way worse.

According to Mack, Jones, and McGee, the women living in Kelly’s Duluth, Georgia, “guest house” or his Chicago recording studio last summer included:

  • A 31-year-old “den mother” who “trained” newcomers on how Kelly liked to be pleasured sexually. She had been best friends since high school with the girl in the videotape for which Kelly was tried in 2008. She recently parted ways with Kelly, these sources say.
  • A 25-year-old woman who also has been part of Kelly’s scene for seven years.
  • A recent arrival, a 19-year-old model who has been photographed in public with Kelly and named on music gossip websites — a rarity among the women in his circle.
  • An Atlanta songwriter who began her relationship with Kelly around 2009, when she was 19. (She is now 26.)
  • And an 18-year-old singer from Polk County, Florida. Mack said the Florida singer is Kelly’s “favorite — his number-one girl.”

Mack, Jones, and McGee claim that women who live with Kelly, who he calls his “babies,” are required to call him “Daddy” and must ask his permission to leave the Chicago recording studio or their assigned rooms in the “guest house” Kelly rents near his own rented mansion in suburban Atlanta. A black SUV with a burly driver behind the wheel is almost always parked outside both locations. Kelly confiscates the women’s cell phones, they said, so they cannot contact their friends and family; he gives them new phones that they are only allowed to use to contact him or others with his permission. Kelly films his sexual activities, McGee and Jones said, and shows the videos to men in his circle.

Good God. R. Kelly literally has women trapped in a closet. You can read the whole story here, if you need another reason to hate humanity. But only 90s kids will know that R. Kelly is a vile trash rapist. But this kinda clears up why he hasn’t had a hit in like 13 years.

  Apparently R. Kelly didn’t appreciate you saying he abused women and pissed on teenage girls, so he changed his tactics and created a secret brainwashing cult where he can…

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