Mariah Carey Is Too Real By todd May 29, 2015

Mariah Carey stopped by two Australian radio shows yesterday, Kyle & Jackie O and Fitzy & Wippa, and not only d Australians have dumb names for morning shows, they asked Mariah about her experience on American Idol. Probably not the best idea. She called it boring and fake, and when as ked if she was coming back for the final season, she replied (I’m not paraphrsaing here) “Hell no! Absolutely not! It was the worst experience of my life.” But remember when Mariah and Nicki Minaj wanted to snatch each others’ weaves every epsiode? Yeah, the producers wanted that.

“I don’t think they had any intentions for us to have a good experience doing that show. Pitting two females against each other wasn’t cool,” the pop superstar revealed. “It should’ve been about the contestants instead of about some nonexistent feud that turned into even more ridiculousness.”

Look, American Idol should have been cancelled like 10 years ago. Carrie Underwood is the only one who has ever done anything worth a shit. I guess you can count Kelly Clarkson for a quick sec before she thought she knew better than Clive Davis and installed a Krispy Kreme franchise in her house. And maybe Adam Lambert. But I think he’s retired and gone to live in a John Water’s movie.

Mariah Carey stopped by two Australian radio shows yesterday, Kyle & Jackie O and Fitzy & Wippa, and not only d Australians have dumb names for morning shows, they asked…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kylie Jenner And Pia Mia Held Hands By todd May 29, 2015

I thought Pia Mia was the name of a car. It’s not. It’s the name of a singer from Guam who apparently became famous by posting songs on YouTube. The first video that popped up in Google was for a song called “Fuck With U ft. G-Eazy” and she has a song on Divergent. I see a lot of Kid’s Choice Awards in her future. Anyway, these are pictures of her and Kylie Jenner holding hands yesterday on their way to get GoGurt instead on their way to being dropped into a volcano which is what I had hoped.

I thought Pia Mia was the name of a car. It’s not. It’s the name of a singer from Guam who apparently became famous by posting songs on YouTube. The…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
John Legend And Chrissy Teigen Did DuJour, One Is Naked By todd May 28, 2015

Two of my favorite human persons, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen,  were profiled (not racially) in the newest issue of Dujour where they talked about their relationship and love and what have you. John is looking fly and stoic as always, but you might have heard that Chrissy Teigen is naked in one of these pictures. You’re free to look at this picture if you want, but I don’t know if I would be comfortable looking at myself. It would be like seeing my sister naked. But, you know, in a Josh Duggar sort of way.

Two of my favorite human persons, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen,  were profiled (not racially) in the newest issue of Dujour where they talked about their relationship and love and…
Here’s Taylor Swift Not Caring By todd May 28, 2015

Speaking of Taylor Swift, here she is walking around in NYC with her legs and her legs saying idgaf about what Katy Perry is having John Mayer write by promising him that he can spill his seed on her tits during It’s A Small World. I don’t really no why Taylor Swift is wearing overalls, but I’m just trying to figure out how I can get her to take those off and leave everything else on while I cook dinner. The guy in the back who looks like he bought clothes in 1992 and said, “I’m good for while” knows what I’m talking about. He wants to pretend he doesn’t, but he knows. We all know.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, here she is walking around in NYC with her legs and her legs saying idgaf about what Katy Perry is having John Mayer write by promising…

Related Posts:

Tags:
John Mayer Is Helping Katy Perry Write A Song About Taylor Swift By todd May 28, 2015

Katy Perry and John Mayer were seen together at Disneyland this week, so if Katy’s plan was to take Mayer to the happiest place on Earth then rub her titties in his face, it apparently worked because he’s helping her write her own diss track, a response to Taylor Swift‘s  “Bad Blood”, because Katy Perry is a child. Also, please keep in mind that both Katy Perry and John Mayer are both over 30.

Katy Perry was noticeably absent from the Billboards because, well, Taylor Swift…But apparently K-Pez was all set to go to the awards (she had an eyelash appointment and everything!), but boyfriend (and ex-boyfriend of Taylor Swift) John Mayer persuaded her not to go. “John convinced her it was a bad idea,” Katy’s friend told heat magazine. “Katy realised she couldn’t stand the idea of the cameras being on her face as she had to watch Taylor win every award with all her friends applauding her.” “Katy thinks revenge is a dish best served cold,” the friend added. “She’s even more determined to show people what she calls ‘the real Taylor’ – she’s writing some big, anthemic-type songs that’ll feature dirt on Taylor that John’s told her from when they used to date. “Katy’s sure that she’ll be back on top before long, and Taylor will regret ever starting this stupid row.”

I’m not sure you can call it a “diss track” if somebody else writes it for you, bit Katy Perry is a Christian, so revenge is kinda what they’re known for besides potlucks and being obsessed with gay sex instead of child molesters. I guess they good thing about Mayer writing this is that it won’t be a three-minute string of cliches that she randomized to kinda rhyme.  Also, again, Katy Perry is 30 years old. Her burn book is still on MySpace.

Katy Perry and John Mayer were seen together at Disneyland this week, so if Katy’s plan was to take Mayer to the happiest place on Earth then rub her titties…

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Bobby Flay Was Banging January Jones Pretty Much Daily By todd May 28, 2015

Hey, remember in 2010 when January Jones got drunk at a London Hotel and drove her car into three parked cars then called Bobby Flay because AAA services don’t include penis? Flay told the media that they had just met that night, but his wife says nah son. Nah.

Bobby Flay’s estranged wife Stephanie March has accused him of cheating on her with January Jones in divorce documents, according to a shock new report in In Touch Weekly. Stephanie allegedly accuses the famous chef of having three affairs during their 10-year marriage, one of which was with the Mad Men star, the magazine claims. In Touch’s source alleges: ‘Stephanie is claiming in court papers that Bobby committed adultery with January several times during the early months of 2010. ‘She says they had sex many times and in different places, including the London hotel in Los Angeles.’ In June 2010, TMZ claimed that Bobby showed up to the scene after 37-year-old January crashed her car. At the time, the 50-year-old said they had watched a basketball game together at the London hotel the previous evening and that the actress has asked for his number because she wanted his advice on redoing her kitchen.

In Bobby Flay’s defense, married or not, like who wouldn’t want to bang Betty Draper many times and in different places. I assume one of those places included the butt. January Jones is an okay actress and all, but she really needs to get a Side Piece Lifetime Achievement Award, because as you might recall, nobody knows who her baby daddy is. Mostly because she got knocked up on the set of X-Men: First Class, and the single and gay dudes in that movie weren’t the father.  I don’t even think the kid knows who his father is. He just has a lot of uncles that come around and play checkers with mommy in her bedroom.

Hey, remember in 2010 when January Jones got drunk at a London Hotel and drove her car into three parked cars then called Bobby Flay because AAA services don’t include…

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Here’s The Batmobile In ‘Suicide Squad’ By todd May 28, 2015

I have a migraine right now that only allows me to open my eyes in a cave in the darkest recesses of space, and that’s good, because in space, nobody can hear you vomit and whine to your girlfriend. But fear not, readers! I’ll squinting and hitting the keys on my laptop very softly to bring you news as/around the time it happens! Like, did you know that Ben Affleck and the Batmobile will be in Suicide Squad? The Joker is the one in the purple Lambo. You’d think Batman would leave him alone since The Joker is on the way to pick up his partner Det. Ricardo Tubbs.

I have a migraine right now that only allows me to open my eyes in a cave in the darkest recesses of space, and that’s good, because in space, nobody…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Courtney Stodden Is Super Bouncy By todd May 27, 2015

Courtney Stodden posted this video on Instagram yesterday which shows her perfectly natural and not fake at all boobs bounce when confronted with the laws of motion. Or whatever the opposite of that last sentence is. I think I’d feel more safe in a car when this bra than I would with a seat belt. Oh, and in case you forgot, here’s how they look (NSFW) without the bra that she obviously doesn’t need and should probably donate to Lindsey Pelas

  A video posted by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on May 26, 2015 at 3:18pm PDT Courtney Stodden posted this video on Instagram yesterday which shows her perfectly natural and…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Here’s Abigail Ratchford At A Slumber Party By todd May 27, 2015

I don’t want you pouring molten lava in your eyes over that last post on my conscience, so here’s Abigail Ratchford and her hot ass friends hosting the Ultimate Bombshell slumber party for #WCW. I wanted to go, but Josh Duggar texted me and said it was probably best if we waited until they fell asleep.

I don’t want you pouring molten lava in your eyes over that last post on my conscience, so here’s Abigail Ratchford and her hot ass friends hosting the Ultimate Bombshell…

Related Posts:

Tags:
Here’s Lena Dunham In Lingerie For Some Reason By todd May 27, 2015
Here’s Lena Dunham In Lingerie For Some Reason

I just realized I’m posting this picture of fat ass Lena Dunham in lingerie as soon as your lunch break is about to start, so sorry about that. People are calling this “fearless” and hailing this as brave for showing what a “real” body looks like. Weird. Because Taylor Swift and Mirand Kerr have real bodies as well. I haven’t checked, but I assume they weren’t made in a lab to be tools of the patriarchy. I tried not to focus to much on this picture, because I might vomit, but that kinda forced me to look at that toilet paper roll on the sink and me realize she probably got it Costco since she obviously goes through a lot.

I just realized I’m posting this picture of fat ass Lena Dunham in lingerie as soon as your lunch break is about to start, so sorry about that. People are…

Related Posts:

Tags: