When you're physical perfection, sometimes you feel the need to take naked pics and post them on Instagram. Then, you have to read comments from chicks on their third McGriddle telling you that you should eat a sandwhich because they don't unerstand that just buying the Insanity DVDs and not opening them don't cause you to lose weight. You also have to read comments from dudes who say you look like a 10-year old boy, because looking at a full grown naked woman and thinking, "10-year old boy" isn't weird at all. So sorry, Candice Swanepoel. Sorry you had to delete it. Diabetes is also sorry because it so wanted to do you.
SEE THE UNCENSORED (NSFW) PIC HERE
Selena Gomez also performed at the KISS FM's Jingle Ball, but apparently she had some sound issues at screamed "What the fuck?!" before throwing a hissy fit and walking off stage. So if you were under the impression that Selena Gomez was a delicate and docile flower not prone to violent outburts, please keep in mind that she's Mexican.
Hayden Panettiere and her boyfriend, a giant from Middle Earth, went to a charity event over the weekend, and I don't know what she's trying to show us here, but I assume it will be bigger after the honeymoon.
Guys, I think Nina Agdal needs a shirt. Or to sunbathe naked. Or neither of those things. Because as the headline suggests, this is a picture of Nina Agdal topless on a couch. Let's not overthink this too much.
As you can clearly see at KISS FM's Jingle Ball over the weekend, Jesus is the reason for the season. And by that I mean, a godless whore in a leotard twerked her flat ass against a gay dude in a Santa suit. How long is Miley Cyrus going to do this? Is there something we can say to make her stop? Maybe we can tell her that black culture is really into Easter dresses and weighted lunges now. Weighted lunges? Oh yeah, Miley. That's what's hot on the street right now.
If you haven't heard by now, Paris Hilton's little brother, Barron Hilton, got his ass kicked outside a Miami mansion over the weekend, and he claims that Lindsay Lohan was the one who ordered the hit. Michael Lohan, who wasn't there, immediately made a statement saying Lindsay wasn't even at the scene and can provide several witnesses to corroborate her alibi. Then, of course, since Michael and Lindsay are suck at lying, there is video footage of Lindsay at the mansion being confronted by Barron. There is also video footage of me from high scool playing the saxophone. Sup, ladies? TMZ reports:
Paris Hilton's little brother Barron Hilton was jumped this morning — and beaten to a pulp — and he claims Lindsay Lohan masterminded the attack, TMZ has learned. We know Lindsay's denying she ordered the hit — in fact, she claims she wasn't even on the scene at the time of the incident — but now we have video (above) that proves otherwise. It shows Barron (blonde hair, white shirt) and his friends confronting LiLo right after the attack. Multiple sources connected to the situation tell us … Barron attended a party last night at a Miami mansion where Lindsay has been staying while she's in town for an art festival — a party that lasted until well after the sun came up. We're told … during the party, someone accused Barron of talking smack about Lindsay — and a short time later he was attacked and beaten to a pulp. TMZ obtained a photo of the damage. We know … 24-year-old Barron spoke with police following the incident. He claims Lohan orchestrated the beating. Barron told cops Lindsay approached him at the party with a male friend and began screaming, "'You talk sh*t about me to my boyfriend, this is what you get." As the guy proceeded to pummel Barron, Hilton claims Lindsay was laughing and egging him on. Cops were called to the scene and interviewed Barron. We're told Barron doesn't know the identity of his attacker but is adamant Lindsay is the person behind the attack. We spoke to Michael Lohan who insists Lindsay had nothing to do with the attack and had left the mansion BEFORE the fight went down. Michael claims there are several witnesses — including security guards — who will back up Lindsay's alibi. Michael says Lindsay was adamant she didn't want to be around any trouble … i.e. drugs, alcohol, violence … and even had people removed from the house before the fight ever went down. Problem with that alibi is — the video of Barron nearly face-to-face with Lilo outside the mansion … just moments after the fight.
So to recap, a spoiled, rich kid got beat up at an art festival in Miami by a dude who Lindsay promised he could titty fuck her and split her garbage bag of coke if he did. If they wanted me to pick a side here, they probably should have come up with a better scenario.
pic source = Instagram
Lady Gaga looks like an idiot [Dlisted]
Seriously, Lady Gaga looks like an idiot [Fishwrapper]
Sarah Harding upskirt (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
On Paul Walker driving like a shithead [The Superficial]
Leilani Dowding will get a part of you in the Christmas spirit [Hollywood Tuna]
Julianna Hough put on a leg show [Popoholic]
Amanda Bynes' butt has the sads [Drunken Stepfather]
The 127 Hours amputee was arrested for domestic violence [TMZ]
Jessica Biel wants babies [Lainey Gossip]
Carrie Underwood thinks all of you need Jesus [Celebitchy]
Disney bought the Indiana Jones franchise [Film Drunk]
Suri Cruise flipped off the paps [Celebslam]
Miss COED December [COED Magazine]
Rebecca Black has a new song [The Blemish]
Ellen and Portia spoofed Bound2 [Evil Beet Gossip]
Here's Tom Brady bald [Crave Online]
Lana Del Rey made a movie [Popbytes]
Christ. Today is super boring, you guys. So here's fashion designer Elsa Marotta in a bikini in Miami. She designs scarves or something, so it's unclear why she didn't use one to cover up that sad, sad ass. Is it frowning? Did it just hear some bad news? Is that what happened? Maybe that's why she took it to the beach. The beach always cheers me up. Get better, Elsa Marotta's ass! We're all praying for you!
Getting knocked up at 16 is a pretty good resume to become a country singer, so I guess Jamie Lynn Spears is one now. She performed a concert at Eddie's Attic in Decatur, GA last night and here's one of the songs. It's called "Shotgun Wedding". Jamie Lynn Spears is still not married. Also, we don't have room for another Carrie Underwood. Our Carrie Underwood quota has been filled. No more Carrie Underwoods. Thank you.
If you've been on the Internet in the last 24 hours, you probably already know that that revolutionary and former President of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died yesterday at the age of 95, removing a shining beacon of humanity from a world that sorely needs it. Hopefully, this puts Paul Walker's death in perspective for everyone, because instead of making mediocre movies about cars, Mandela literally changed the world. And since the world doesn't like when somebody does that (Jesus, JFK, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, etc) , Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years for conspiracy to overthrow a government that instituionalized racism and thrived on racial inequality. I could add more, but everything I will say we seem small and insignificant compared to Mandela's life and legacy. Oh, this post needs a joke. Ok. Dick Cheney once called Mandela a terrorist without a hint of irony.