Emily Ratajkowski Is For FridayBy toddNovember 17, 2017
Emily Ratajkowski Is For Friday

 

Lot of sexual assault stuff happening now. I don’t mean that to come across like when I think of Emily Ratajkowski that I think of sexual assault. I just meant there’s a lot of stuff happening right now. And apparently some women are disposable if the man accused really loves Jesus or if they use the #Resistance hashtag. That’s awesome. All the women I know love to be used as political pawns. Not exactly sure where Emily Ratajkowski’s bikini like stands on this issue, but I know where I stand on it. I feel it’s great for the country and a positive step in moving us forward.

 

 

  Lot of sexual assault stuff happening now. I don’t mean that to come across like when I think of Emily Ratajkowski that I think of sexual assault. I just…

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Charles Manson Is Gonna Die SoonBy toddNovember 16, 2017
Charles Manson Is Gonna Die Soon

 

Charles Manson is 83 and has lived about 46 years longer than he should have, so this is great news. Per LA Times:

Authorities confirmed Wednesday that mass murderer Charles Manson is back in a Bakersfield hospital, though the severity of his condition is unclear. Kern County Sheriff’s Lt. Bill Smallwood confirms that Manson is at a local hospital but could not say more. Vicky Waters, a spokeswoman for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, declined to comment, citing federal and state medical privacy laws that preclude the agency “from commenting on protected health information for any inmate in our custody.” Waters did confirm, however, that Manson is alive.

TMZ, as usual, gets more to the point.

We’re told the 83-year-old Manson, who lays still covered in blankets, looks ashen. Our sources say Manson’s health has been steadily deteriorating and, as it was put to us, “It’s just a matter of time.”

Man, I’m brown and it’s November, so I am also ashen. Didn’t know we had that in common. Gonna stop now to put on some lotion.

 

Horrific mass murder aside, this is still better than anything on Reputation:

 

  Charles Manson is 83 and has lived about 46 years longer than he should have, so this is great news. Per LA Times: Authorities confirmed Wednesday that mass murderer Charles…

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Nicki Minaj Didn’t Break The InternetBy toddNovember 16, 2017
Nicki Minaj Didn’t Break The Internet

 

Kinda naked women don’t break the Internet anymore, because it’s usually broken by Trump tweets and telecom monopolies who keep data speeds trapped in a tower like Rapunzel. But Nicki Minaj tried, I guess. I was gonna post this yesterday, but I was waiting for more pics to come out because nobody cared and I realized Minaj wouldn’t be able to let it go. I was right. She dropped more pics on her photoshoot with Paper Magazine on her Instagram. I downloaded them. Not sure if knowing Minaj wants to have sex with herself and lick her own asshole is supposed to be shocking. Like, we kinda already knew that, right? Cool cool.

 

  Kinda naked women don’t break the Internet anymore, because it’s usually broken by Trump tweets and telecom monopolies who keep data speeds trapped in a tower like Rapunzel. But…

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Amber Heard Did The GQ Men Of The Year AwardsBy toddNovember 15, 2017
Amber Heard Did The GQ Men Of The Year Awards

 

Amber Heard is 31 but looks 41. Damn. White women really do hit that wall harder than a Dreamer’s parents. Sucks for them. But since I’m not posting any men from last night’s GQ Men Of The Year Awards, here’s Amber Heard. Unclear why Aquaman would marry this. Is that why he looks so angry at the beginning of the trailers then super happy when later in the trailers when he’s not near the water? What’s going on with their relationship? We need to get to the bottom of this.

 

  Amber Heard is 31 but looks 41. Damn. White women really do hit that wall harder than a Dreamer’s parents. Sucks for them. But since I’m not posting any…

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Blake Shelton Is People’s Sexiest Man AliveBy toddNovember 15, 2017
Blake Shelton Is People’s Sexiest Man Alive

 

I didn’t realize soccer moms were such a powerful pop culture lobby, but Blake Shelton was named People’s 2017 Sexiest Man Alive. I guess they thought everyone else was dead. There’s probably another man named Blake Shelton who is sexier than this one. Blake Shelton looks like he has a pickup line that involves camping gear.

 

  I didn’t realize soccer moms were such a powerful pop culture lobby, but Blake Shelton was named People’s 2017 Sexiest Man Alive. I guess they thought everyone else was…

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‘Justice League’ Had A PremiereBy toddNovember 14, 2017
‘Justice League’ Had A Premiere

 

Bless their hearts. People who were involved in Justice League held a red carpet premiere in Hollywood last night. It’d be cool to know how good the movie is like we did a week before Wonder Woman came out, but Rotten Tomatoes is delaying the reveal of this movie’s score. Fun fact: Warner Bros owns Rotten Tomatoes. So I guess they’re not trying to self own themselves before the movie actually comes out. Anyway, Gal Gadot looked hot as hell. Amber Heard looked hot as hell kinda. Ray Fisher just looks happy to be there. Enjoy before DC fans attack critics on Twitter and tell you that you don’t understand Snyder’s vision.

 

  Bless their hearts. People who were involved in Justice League held a red carpet premiere in Hollywood last night. It’d be cool to know how good the movie is…

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Gal Gadot Won’t Do Another ‘Wonder Woman’ Until Brett Ratner Is GoneBy toddNovember 13, 2017
Gal Gadot Won’t Do Another ‘Wonder Woman’ Until Brett Ratner Is Gone

 

Gal Gadot probably read that Warner Bros. isn’t lifting the critics’ review embargo on Justice League until 16 hours (at 2:50am) before it hits theaters, so she’s probably trying anything not to be associated with this shit anymore. One of the best reasons so far is that Brett Ratner, noted douchebag and sexual harasser, help produce Wonder Woman. Gadot is not about that life.

A Hollywood source tells Page Six that Gadot — who last month backed out of a dinner honoring Ratner, where she was due to present him with an award — is taking a strong stance on sexual harassment in Hollywood and doesn’t want her hit “Wonder Woman” franchise to benefit a man accused of sexual misconduct.

Man, Gal Gadot or Brett Ratner? That’s a tough one. I assume every exec at Warner Bros. has taken a turn drop kicking Ratner out of a fourth floor window until his spine is dust.

“Brett made a lot of money from the success of ‘Wonder Woman,’ thanks to his company having helped finance the first movie. Now Gadot is saying she won’t sign for the sequel unless Warner Bros. buys Brett out [of his financing deal] and gets rid of him.” The source added of Israeli-born Gadot, “She’s tough and stands by her principles. She also knows the best way to hit people like Brett Ratner is in the wallet. She also knows that Warner Bros. has to side with her on this issue as it develops. They can’t have a movie rooted in women’s empowerment being part-financed by a man ­accused of sexual misconduct against women.”

What’s weird here is that Ratner is only on board because he has a deal with Warner Bros., but more importantly, he and Patty Jenkins are like best friends. Or were best friends. Pretty sure they aren’t friends anymore. But in conclusion, Gal Gadot basically pulled her dick out in the only acceptable way one should pull their dick out, and is forcing a studio to choose the star of their best reviewed superhero movie in 10 years or Brett Ratner. Turns out superheroes don’t need capes. Also, the CGI on Cyborg looks really dumb.

  Gal Gadot probably read that Warner Bros. isn’t lifting the critics’ review embargo on Justice League until 16 hours (at 2:50am) before it hits theaters, so she’s probably trying…

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Hello, Madison BeerBy toddNovember 13, 2017
Hello, Madison Beer

 

After seeing these pics of Madison Beer at the 2017 MTV EMAs, I’m not sure why I downloaded the pics of Demi Lovato at the 2017 MTV EMAs. Seems like a waste of time now. I think this might be my first time ever posting pics of Madison Beer. [Does Google search] oh, because she’s 18. Way too old for Roy Moore. I feel pretty good about my chances now.

 

  After seeing these pics of Madison Beer at the 2017 MTV EMAs, I’m not sure why I downloaded the pics of Demi Lovato at the 2017 MTV EMAs. Seems…
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Hello, Demi LovatoBy toddNovember 13, 2017
Hello, Demi Lovato

 

The 2017 MTV EMAs were last night and Demi Lovato went as a Kardashian. Good for her. You can look at her cleavage if you want, but please know it’s only there to distract from the fact that Taylor Swift was nominated for five awards but didn’t win any. Not sure if Demi won anything or not. Probably not. She sucks.

 

  The 2017 MTV EMAs were last night and Demi Lovato went as a Kardashian. Good for her. You can look at her cleavage if you want, but please know…

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Louis CK Really Enjoys MasturbatingBy toddNovember 10, 2017
Louis CK Really Enjoys Masturbating

 

You’ve heard the rumors for years. Gawker and Jezebel has been trying to tell you for years. Women comedians have been trying to tell you for years. Louis CK‘s standup and shows have been trying to tell you for years. And yesterday, in an article in The New York Times,  five women let us know that dude really likes masturbating in front of women who don’t want them to masturbate in front of them.

In 2002, a Chicago comedy duo, Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, landed their big break: a chance to perform at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colo. When Louis C.K. invited them to hang out in his hotel room for a nightcap after their late-night show, they did not think twice. The bars were closed and they wanted to celebrate. He was a comedian they admired. The women would be together. His intentions seemed collegial. As soon as they sat down in his room, still wrapped in their winter jackets and hats, Louis C.K. asked if he could take out his penis, the women said. They thought it was a joke and laughed it off. “And then he really did it,” Ms. Goodman said in an interview with The New York Times. “He proceeded to take all of his clothes off, and get completely naked, and started masturbating.”

We can just skip over the fact that Louis CK has to remove all his clothes in Aspen to jerk it to two women just standing there, but basically every story in this article is a version the exact same thing: a women/women are in a room with C.K. then he just whips his dick out and starts jerking off. What the hell is that about? Fucking weirdo. Like, if a woman wants to see your dick, she’ll ask to see your dick. If not, she doesn’t wanna see it. Anyway, HBO has already dropped him. Orchard, the distribution company for his new film is considering not even releasing it, and FX Networks might drop all his shit. This news probably doesn’t make him wanna jerk off, so that’s good news.

  You’ve heard the rumors for years. Gawker and Jezebel has been trying to tell you for years. Women comedians have been trying to tell you for years. Louis CK‘s…
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