Jennifer Lawrence Is Single By todd July 30, 2014
Jennifer Lawrence Is Single

 

Jennifer Lawrence got dumped by her boyfriend, Nicholas Hoult, of three years because she found a way to stick her head up her own ass.

The Hollywood rumour mill went into overdrive last week as it was reported that Nicholas Hoult was spotted cosying up to Riley Keough at No.8′s Philo Prom party in New York City. It sparked endless speculation about his relationship status with long term girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence. Were they or weren’t they together? Well, TheFIX can reveal that not only have they split but it’s down to J-Laws “exploded ego” and obsession with the tinseltown scene. “Jen is still desperately trying to get back with Nicholas after he broke up with her,” says our source. “They’re still talking but Nicholas is moving on. He hates how in love with fame Jen is, and he told her he hates dating an A-list actress. “That was the most hurtful to Jen because she’s worked so hard for her achievements and she’s so proud of her career. But Nic wants a more low-key girlfriend and Riley fits the bill.”

Women and feminists will immediately have a tampon-jerk reaction and say Nicholas Hoult couldn’t handle a “strong woman”, but we all know it’s because Lawrence is annoying and fake. Nobody trips that much without having epilepsy. And she makes up stories that never happened for some reason. Also, Riley Keough is hotter. Pretty clear choice here.

  Jennifer Lawrence got dumped by her boyfriend, Nicholas Hoult, of three years because she found a way to stick her head up her own ass. The Hollywood rumour mill…

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Orlando Bloom Swung On Justin Bieber By todd July 30, 2014

 

Besides being tunnel brothers, Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are not related. So this is just two bitches fighting over two other bitches. For the lack of a better phrase: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

New video shows what went down inside the restaurant. You can see Bloom deliver a right hand shove to Bieber’s face, though Bieber’s bodyguard appears to deflect the brunt of the blow. Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber early Wednesday morning in Ibiza … and Justin fled the restaurant — this according to 2 eyewitnesses. The eyewitnesses tell TMZ … Orlando was in Cipriani restaurant which was packed with celebs, including Paris Hilton, and Diddy. You don’t see Orlando swing, but the eyewitnesses tell us that’s exactly what happened. We’re told Justin ducked the punch. That’s where the video starts and you hear Justin scream, “What’s up bitch?” We’re told when Bieber left the crowd applauded. The backstory is almost legendary … Justin partied with Orlando’s then-wife Miranda Kerr after a 2012 Victoria’s Secret fashion show in NYC and they got very VERY close. And in April of this year, Orlando was hanging out with Justin’s on-and-off GF Selena Gomez. So the bad blood is flowing.

I don’t even know how Bloom got close enough to Bieber to get a punch(?) off, because Bieber can’t even try to put a straw in a juice box without his bodyguards stomping on it, but we should all just take the time to salute the real hero this story: the crowd. The only issue is that they didn’t wrap him in the Canadian flag and set him on fire. Canadians are well-known for hating us for our freedom.

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames.   Besides being tunnel brothers, Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are not related. So this is just two bitches fighting over two other…

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Chris Brown’s Neighbor Wants To Shoot Him By todd July 29, 2014
Chris Brown’s Neighbor Wants To Shoot Him

 

Chris Brown is renting a 8,000 square foot, 6 bedroom house in San Fernando Valley, and one of his neighbors who jacks off to the 2A already wants to shoot him.

“It can be the devil. I can care less. I don’t care if they’re having orgies. It can even be Saddam Hussein for all I care, as long as he doesn’t trespass onto my property. If he does, I shoot him.”

Usually the only white people who fire shots at Chris Brown are named Jenny and she does it on Twitter, but if I was Chris Brown, this would be the only one I’d worry about. The one thing about gun nuts are they can’t fucking wait to display the star spangled awesome power of their Jesus-given right to defend themselves by looking for any excuse to defend themselves against the perceived threats in their delusional and paranoid minds. Of course it’s legal to shoot a trespasser if that person intends to cause you bodily harm or murder you, but to a person who spends a lot of money on guns and spends a lot of time talking about guns, a random drunk guy stumbling onto your property by accident is reason for DEFCON 1. No point in having a gun if you can’t shoot it at the slightest sight of someone loosely violating a law. I know, I know. You have guns in your house because the government might one day come in and try to take all your rights away, so you have to….oops, sorry your house and everything in it just got blown up by a drone. Tell me more about the stopping power of your .45 again. Really? Is that so? Cool, cool.

  Chris Brown is renting a 8,000 square foot, 6 bedroom house in San Fernando Valley, and one of his neighbors who jacks off to the 2A already wants to…

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Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons By todd July 29, 2014
Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons

 

Every NBA player who dates a Kardashian/Jenner  instantly joins the Dallas Mavericks, so when the Houston Rockets declined to match the Mavericks’ offer sheet 19 days ago, that should have been our first hint that Chandler Parsons (this guy)  he might be keeping his kock in Kendall.

The 18-year-old model and NBA hottie Chandler Parsons sparked romance rumors over the weekend after the two were spotted getting flirty at STK restaurant in Los Angeles on Friday. The reported couple was joined by Kendall’s sister Kylie Jenner, as well as sports agent Dan Frank and a female friend of the Jenner sisters. According to an eyewitness, the siblings arrived about 30 minutes after Chandler and his agent before the group all sat down at the same table together. Kendall and Chandler had “immediate chemistry,” the source tells E! News. “She [Kendall] was laughing, smiling and they seemed to be having great conversation with each other.” The eyewitness adds that Kendall and Chandler “were chatting and flirting” throughout their meal..

E! News broke this story, and that’s just a fancy way of saying Kris Jenner called them and told them to print it, but she’s proceeding with caution. On one hand, Chandler Parsons is a 25-year old budding All-Star who just signed a 3-year $46M deal. On the other hand, he’s white.

  Every NBA player who dates a Kardashian/Jenner  instantly joins the Dallas Mavericks, so when the Houston Rockets declined to match the Mavericks’ offer sheet 19 days ago, that should…

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Freddie Prinze, Jr. Hates Kiefer Sutherland By todd July 29, 2014
Freddie Prinze, Jr. Hates Kiefer Sutherland

 

Hey, remember Freddie Prinze, Jr. from that one thing in the 90s. And that other thing? Apparently he has some beef with Kiefer Sutherland. Not the grass fed kind.

“Kiefer was the most unprofessional dude in the world. That’s not me talking trash, I’d say it to his face, I think everyone that’s worked with him has said that,” Prinze told ABC News. “I went and worked for Vince McMahon at the WWE for Christ’s sake and it was a crazier job than working with Kiefer,” Prinze told ABC News. “But, at least he was cool and tall. I didn’t have to take my shoes off to do scenes with him, which they made me do. Just put the guy on an apple box or don’t hire me next time. You know I’m 6 feet and he’s 5’4.”

Big words from a dude who spells his name with an “ie” at the end, so you’re probably wondering how anybody could say this about Jack Bauer, but please realize that in real life, Jack Bauer is a sloppy, entitled drunk who everybody hates dealing with more than Charlize Theron.

Sources connected with Freddie tell TMZ … the actor claims Kiefer would regularly show up on set drunk … sitting in his trailer often for hours, as everyone waited. The sources say it messed with the lives of the family of cast and crew. Freddie, we’re told, claims Kiefer was temperamental and got people fired he didn’t like, yet “24″ producers consistently cow-towed to him … as one source put it, “All they did was keep rewarding him.”

My mind associates Freddie Prinze, Jr. with Jennifer Love Hewitt’s rack and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s ass in I Know What You Did Last Summer. Both of which I saw in person while they were filming down the street from my mom’s beach house in Southport. I don’t know what that has to do with this story, but keep in mind this story is about Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland. Not too many ways to make that type of thing interesting.

  Hey, remember Freddie Prinze, Jr. from that one thing in the 90s. And that other thing? Apparently he has some beef with Kiefer Sutherland. Not the grass fed kind….

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Jessica Lowndes Understands Instagram By todd July 28, 2014
Jessica Lowndes Understands Instagram

 

SPOILER: This isn’t a Comic Con post. This is a post about Jessica Lowndes and her perfect ass. The rest of her is pretty much perfect, too. That’s also a nice deck fence. Quality craftsmanship. I probably couldn’t break it if I bent her over.

Jessica Lowndes Instagram

  SPOILER: This isn’t a Comic Con post. This is a post about Jessica Lowndes and her perfect ass. The rest of her is pretty much perfect, too. That’s also…

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Adrianne Curry Dressed Up As A Lot Crap For Comic Con By todd July 28, 2014

Adrianne Curry is a nerd who likes video games and dressing up like fictional characters, but she also works out a lot and has huge boobs. So she’s basically every man’s dream woman if that man still lives at home with his parents. Not to say I wouldn’t bang her. I mean, I’d bang her. I banged my neighbor for about four months and the only she dressed up in was soccer shorts and Uggs. I don’t think the effort was there.

Adrianne Curry is a nerd who likes video games and dressing up like fictional characters, but she also works out a lot and has huge boobs. So she’s basically every…

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‘Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ Had A Teaser Trailer By todd July 28, 2014
‘Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ Had A Teaser Trailer

batman v. superman: dawn of justice teaser trailer

 

Another thing that happened at Comic Con besides grown adults wearing costumes and women being sexually harassed by shut ins, is DC released a teaser trailer for Bv.S:DOJ (I refuse to type this title again). It’s not online anymore, so here’s some screen caps. In this scene, Batman and Superman are about to fight over the last bottle of eyedrops.

  Another thing that happened at Comic Con besides grown adults wearing costumes and women being sexually harassed by shut ins, is DC released a teaser trailer for Bv.S:DOJ (I…

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Here’s Wonder Woman By todd July 28, 2014
Here’s Wonder Woman

 

So, Comic Con is still happening or whatever, so I guess that’s a good time for Zack Snyder to release the first image of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice. I’m glad she’s an Amazon warrior princess from space and is still insecure about her cup size so she got implants. This, of course, looks nothing like a Woman Woman costume. Looks like a Jezebel version of 300. Or a Game Of Thrones porn parody. And why is she on a volcano? I don’t recall Metropolis being a big volcano tourist attraction.

  So, Comic Con is still happening or whatever, so I guess that’s a good time for Zack Snyder to release the first image of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman…

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