Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ PremiereBy toddDecember 11, 2017
Dove Cameron Also Attended The ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Premiere

 

Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress and sticking her ass out even though she looks like a baby doll that’s supposed to be a sex doll and that’s a little weird. Very confusing. Roy Moore was dig it until he finds out she’s 21. “She can legally drink? Ewww,” he might say.

 

  Dove Cameron has nothing to do with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and that’s fine. I wonder who invited her. That doesn’t really matter, because she’s wearing this dress…

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‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday NightBy toddDecember 11, 2017
‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ Had A World Premiere Saturday Night

 

It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that in the South. I say that because John Boyega was trapped here on Friday, but he eventually made it to the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Here’s pictures from that premiere. The Last Jedi early reviews are calling this the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back, but they also said that about The Force Awakens (it wasn’t) and Rogue One (it really wasn’t), and they only people the studio invites to these early screenings are Star Wars dorks and people paid to say it was great, so when you watch the movie you can judge for yourself. It might be the greatest Star Wars movie ever, but we really won’t know until Disney makes the 6,378 other Star wars movies they have planned or until people realize the Star Wars franchise is just a cash cow for a consolidated monopoly. Either or.

 

  It snowed in Atlanta on Friday. And when I say “it snowed”, I mean it pretty much snowed all day Friday and all night. We aren’t prepared for that…

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Madison Beer & Other People Did The 2017 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 11, 2017
Madison Beer & Other People Did The 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

I know Madison Beer is famous, just not sure why. Something about Justin Bieber or something. She’s in the 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar in lingerie pretending to work out. It looks like she hasn’t shaved under her arms in a few days. It remains unclear what that symbolism of all those factors combined are supposed to mean.

 

 

Doutzen Kroes. She used to be a model then she had kids.

 

 

Taylor Hill. She’s a model or something.

 

 

Gigi Hadid didn’t shave under her arms as well. This means people can call her “brave”.

 

 

  I know Madison Beer is famous, just not sure why. Something about Justin Bieber or something. She’s in the 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar in lingerie pretending to work out. It looks…

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Bryan Singer Sued For Raping A 17-Year-Old Dude In 2003By toddDecember 08, 2017
Bryan Singer Sued For Raping A 17-Year-Old Dude In 2003

 

Earlier this month, director Bryan Singer was directing the Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, then just left one day and didn’t come back. Then the production shut down “due to the unexpected unavailability of Bryan Singer.” Then Singer got fired. Then Singer said he was trying to take of his sick mother. The studio was like, yeah ok. Four days later, Singer is hit with a lawsuit for sexually assaulting a teenager in 2003.

According to the lawsuit, obtained by TMZ, Singer was on a yacht in the Seattle area back in 2003 … a yacht owned by wealthy tech investor, Lester Waters. The suit claims it was a party populated by young gay males, including the plaintiff, Cesar Sanchez-Guzman. The suit claims Singer offered to take Guzman, who was 17 at the time, on a tour of the yacht. When they got to one of the rooms, the suit alleges Singer thrust his body on Guzman, forced him to the floor, shoved Guzman’s face against his crotch and demanded he perform oral sex. The suit claims Singer pulled out his penis, smacked Guzman in the face with it and forced it into his mouth. Guzman claims he pleaded with Singer to stop, but he kept going … causing him to choke. The suit goes on to allege Singer then forcibly performed oral sex on Guzman. Guzman says he again pleaded with Singer to stop, to no avail. He says Singer then forcibly anally penetrated him, all while ignoring Guzman’s pleas.

This makes the fourth time Bryan Singer has been sued for sexually assaulting or doing weird shit with teenage boys, and let’s not forget Singer’s infamous pool parties with barely legal, naked twinks.

I guess his mother is okay now, because he lawyers immediately released a statement denying the allegations (per People):

“Bryan categorically denies these allegations and will vehemently defend this lawsuit to the very end. Cesar Sanchez-Guzman apparently claims that he did not remember this alleged incident from 2003 until now. Significantly, when Sanchez-Guzman filed for bankruptcy only a few years ago, he failed to disclose this alleged claim when he was supposed to identify all of his assets, but conveniently, now that the bankruptcy court discharged all of his debts, he is able to recall the alleged events.”

So basically, Bryan Singer was directing the Queen movie, heard about the allegations, then left a hole in the set like Wile E. Coyote to run to his lawyer. Also, his show The Gifted sucks. Runaways is far superior has more likeable characters.

 

  Earlier this month, director Bryan Singer was directing the Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, then just left one day and didn’t come back. Then the production shut down “due to…

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Emily Sears Has A CalendarBy toddDecember 08, 2017
Emily Sears Has A Calendar

 

It’s 2017 and Instagram models are still making calendars for some reason. Emily Sears now has one. I assume it’s not a productivity app. She announced the calendar on Instagram, but I didn’t include the caption because I don’t want to be that involved in the promotion of this thing. If you want to save money and want an actual calendar, just go to her Instagram and print off 12 pictures and make you one. That would probably be the best option in this economy.

 

A post shared by Emily Sears (@emilysears) on

 

If Saudi Arabia was smart, they’d make their woman robot look like Emily Sears and sell them in America and Japan. They’re pretty weird of over there, too.

 

  It’s 2017 and Instagram models are still making calendars for some reason. Emily Sears now has one. I assume it’s not a productivity app. She announced the calendar on…

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Demi Lovato Has A Problem With TIME’s Person Of The YearBy toddDecember 07, 2017
Demi Lovato Has A Problem With TIME’s Person Of The Year

 

There’s really nothing more on brand for Demi Lovato than going on Twitter and shitting on something positive or telling somebody what they should be doing then deleting the tweets later and asking why you think what she tweeted was news because there’s bigger things people should be worried about. So, naturally, she has a take on 2017 TIME’s Person Of The Year.

 

We can assume she’s talking about Taylor Swift here. Or Nicki Minaj. Or any other person she’s passive aggressively shaded on Twitter.

Valid point (the runner-up was Donald Trump).

 

I men, they were on the cover, but still. “It’s annoying that it’s just about impact on the news.” I don’t know what that means. Maybe people who hang around Demi Lovato know. I love Demi, because if she wasn’t famous and had to seem normal, she’d be tweeting about how everyone in Congress are humanoid lizards and how Amazon Echo can read your mind WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

 

  There’s really nothing more on brand for Demi Lovato than going on Twitter and shitting on something positive or telling somebody what they should be doing then deleting the…

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Jessica Chastain’s Game Did The ‘Molly’s Game’ Premiere In MadridBy toddDecember 06, 2017
Jessica Chastain’s Game Did The ‘Molly’s Game’ Premiere In Madrid

 

I haven’t seen Molly’s Game, so somebody let me know if it has a scene where Jessica Chastain walks on a red carpet at some event. That movie would be called Cleavage Game haha I kid, but seriously, she has nice breasts. Hopefully that’s okay to say in this environment. I know her body isn’t a commodity and she has smart brain and she’s a very talented actor and whatnot, but boobs are great. Everyone likes them. Boobs are gender neutral in their ability to be liked and stuff. Boobs. Say it with me.

 

  I haven’t seen Molly’s Game, so somebody let me know if it has a scene where Jessica Chastain walks on a red carpet at some event. That movie would…

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Meet TIME’s Person Of The YearBy toddDecember 06, 2017
Meet TIME’s Person Of The Year

 

Mere hours after The New York Times and The New Yorker dropped bombshell exposes on Harvey Weinstein‘s unhinged and rampant sexual abuse, the #MeToo campaigned was launched and holy shit. Since then, we learned that basically every celebrity dude we like is overestimating how much women want to see their penises. Naturally, TIME’s Person Of The Year for 2017 are “The Silence Breakers”.

This reckoning appears to have sprung up overnight. But it has actually been simmering for years, decades, centuries. Women have had it with bosses and co-workers who not only cross boundaries but don’t even seem to know that boundaries exist. They’ve had it with the fear of retaliation, of being blackballed, of being fired from a job they can’t afford to lose. They’ve had it with the code of going along to get along. They’ve had it with men who use their power to take what they want from women. These silence breakers have started a revolution of refusal, gathering strength by the day, and in the past two months alone, their collective anger has spurred immediate and shocking results: nearly every day, CEOs have been fired, moguls toppled, icons disgraced. In some cases, criminal charges have been brought.

Like, I want to give TIME credit for doing this, but then you realize Time’s editor-in-chief, Edward Felsenthal said Trump was this year’s “runner-up“. That’s like putting Gandalf on the cover then saying Sauron was the runner-up. I don’t get it. Anyway, read the article and watch the video. Pretty powerful stuff. Even if it feels like a calculated marketing move disguised as commentary on a social movement.

 

  Mere hours after The New York Times and The New Yorker dropped bombshell exposes on Harvey Weinstein‘s unhinged and rampant sexual abuse, the #MeToo campaigned was launched and holy…
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Sara Sampaio & Slick Woods Are Your 2017 LOVE Advent CalendarBy toddDecember 06, 2017
Sara Sampaio & Slick Woods Are Your 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar

 

It’s a weekday in December, so that means another 2017 LOVE Advent calendar video until 2018 gets here. I think everyone will be happy when 2018 gets here. But we were also excited for 2017 to get here, so what the hell do we know? We’re dumb. 2018 will probably be apocalyptic hellscape or humans will just evolve by losing the ability to speak or type so we nobody offends anyone. Or even worse, Mike Pence become President. Or John Oliver is accused of sexual harassment. We just don’t know. Wow, went off on a tangent there. Here’s Sara Sampaio doing her version of karate in this video. If you don’t know who Sara Sampaio is, that’s understandable. They’ve been trying to make her happen for like 5 years now. Maybe she should give up.

 

 

Here’s a video of Slick Woods. I don’t know who that is. Based on her teeth, I assume she’s British.

 

 

  It’s a weekday in December, so that means another 2017 LOVE Advent calendar video until 2018 gets here. I think everyone will be happy when 2018 gets here. But…

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Irina Shayk Did The 2017 Fashion AwardsBy toddDecember 05, 2017
Irina Shayk Did The 2017 Fashion Awards

 

I need you guys to prepare yourselves, because this isn’t a post about rape allegations or movie or show being cancelled because of rape allegations. This post isn’t even about rape in general. Something to be thankful for in 2017. This post is about Irina Shayk, who is Russian, and may or may not have interfered in our election and compromised her boyfriend, Bradley Cooper, into becoming an unwitting Russian agent even after he killed all those terrorists in American Sniper. He is now a traitor to our democracy. Why isn’t the mainstream media covering this? Won’t don’t they want us to know?

 

  I need you guys to prepare yourselves, because this isn’t a post about rape allegations or movie or show being cancelled because of rape allegations. This post isn’t even…

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