Jessica Chastain Set To Play Marilyn Monroe In ‘Blonde’ By todd April 23, 2014
Jessica Chastain Set To Play Marilyn Monroe In ‘Blonde’

 

Jessica Chastain better start eating now.

Two-time Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain is nearing a deal to play Marilyn Monroe in Andrew Dominik's passion project “Blonde,” multiple individuals familiar with the project have told TheWrap. Representatives for Chastain and Worldview Entertainment did not immediately respond to requests for comment. First announced in 2010, “Blonde” is based on Joyce Carol Oates’ 700-page novel of the same name, which reimagines the inner, poetic and spiritual life of Norma Jeane Baker — the child, the woman and the fated-celebrity better known by her studio name of Marilyn Monroe.

In addition to having to gain 165 pounds and growing an eleventh toe for the role, Jessica Chastain has to "reimagine" how a neurotic, bipolar junkie who could crush the soul of a film set faster than Lindsay Lohan could one day become a feminist icon of relationships (divorced three times and died alone) and natural beauty (had implants and a nose job) for misguided chicks on Tumblr. I'd give her an Oscar for that.

  Jessica Chastain better start eating now. Two-time Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain is nearing a deal to play Marilyn Monroe in Andrew Dominik's passion project “Blonde,” multiple individuals familiar with…

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Sara Malakul Lane Is New Here By todd April 23, 2014

Whenever my homey Jesus from DrunkenStepfather sends me an email, I know that I'll either want to open it immediately or spend the rest of my life wishing I had never opened it. But last night he sent me this pics of actress Sara Malakul Lane posing at a construction site for The Headhuntr. So, enjoy the pics. Have a blessed day.

Whenever my homey Jesus from DrunkenStepfather sends me an email, I know that I'll either want to open it immediately or spend the rest of my life wishing I had…
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This Is Actually A Shrine Celebrating Japanese War Criminals By todd April 23, 2014
This Is Actually A Shrine Celebrating Japanese War Criminals

 

When Justin Bieber is in America, he gets high and drag races. When he goes overseas, he creates international incidents that could potentially provoke WWIII. Sorry, Canada. You gotta send more than 100 soldiers this time.

Bieber posted an Instagram photo from the Yasukuni Shrine, which he believed to be a place of prayer. It's actually a controversial tribute to Japan's World War II soldiers—or, from the point of view of China and South Korea, war criminals who routinely tortured prisoners.

Bieber has since removed this photo, but due to the shitstorm in the comments, he issued an apology.

"While in Japan I asked my driver to pull over for which I saw a beautiful shrine. I was mislead to think the Shrines were only a place of prayer. To anyone I have offended I am extremely sorry. I love you China and I love you

"While in Japan I asked my driver to pull over for which I saw a beautiful shrine." Okay there, Walt Whitman. Why don't you go spraypaint your nails.

  When Justin Bieber is in America, he gets high and drag races. When he goes overseas, he creates international incidents that could potentially provoke WWIII. Sorry, Canada. You gotta…

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Settle Down There, Rumer Willis By todd April 23, 2014

I can appreciate Rumer Willis trying to get attention any way she can, and what better way than to wear a Bulgarian escort's dress to a celebration about women in music. But when your mom still has her episiotomy stitches because of your gigantic head, it really doesn't matter what you wear unless it's a helmet of some kind.

I can appreciate Rumer Willis trying to get attention any way she can, and what better way than to wear a Bulgarian escort's dress to a celebration about women in…

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Jessica Lowndes Is A Great Sister, Bouncy By todd April 23, 2014

 

My undying love for Jessica Lowndes isn't weird or creepy at all, and although it kinda is, I really don't care because damn and damn and damn. Anyway, she took her sister to Disneyland yesterday and decided to film herself running in slow motion. Slow motion for me, slow motion for me, move in slow motion for me. Did I mention this is in slow motion?

  My undying love for Jessica Lowndes isn't weird or creepy at all, and although it kinda is, I really don't care because damn and damn and damn. Anyway, she…

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Amy-Jane Brand Says Good Morning, Links By todd April 23, 2014
Amy-Jane Brand Says Good Morning, Links

Amy-Jane Brand Instagram

 

Amber Heard is dressing like Johnny Depp now  [Dlisted]

Khloe Kardashian got jokes [Fishwrapper]

Mel B has a wedgie (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Jay Z and Beyonce aren't attending Kim and Kanye's wedding   [The Superficial]

Sammy Braddy in lingerie  [Hollywood Tuna]

Emmy Rossum is all legs [Popoholic]

Scarlett Johansson does full labia in Under The Skin (VERY NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

Selena Gomez deleted everyone from Instagram [Celebitchy]

Nina Agdal continues to be flawless  [Moe Jackson]

Quentin Tarantino's new movie will be shot in 70mm [Film Drunk]

Bella Thorne smoked out at Coachella [Celebslam]

Animals that don't suck  [The Chive]

 

pic source = Instagram

  Amber Heard is dressing like Johnny Depp now  [Dlisted] Khloe Kardashian got jokes [Fishwrapper] Mel B has a wedgie (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie] Jay Z and Beyonce aren't…
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Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise By todd April 22, 2014
Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise

 

Xenu will kill you for this. Not fast, but oh so slowly.

"The thing that sucks is that there's so much false data because people are in mystery as to what Scientology is, so they just kind of make up stuff," Prepon said. "It's kind of unfortunate because then I have to be like, 'No, that's actually not what's happening.'" "It's just so funny that, when people don't know, they just make stuff up, [like], apparently I'm dating Tom Cruise right now. And apparently he doesn't want me doing the show because I portray a lesbian and I'm a Scientologist. This is false; where are they even getting this stuff? It's unbelievable to me."

Laura Prepon has to explain Scientology, because like all religions, shit just doesn't make any sense. An alien warlock bombed a volcano? Cool. Sorry, gotta run. God killed his son on Friday and he rose three days later except he rose on Sunday? Isn't that, like, two days? My math might not be right, but I think that's two days. That's definitely two days. It's hard to take you seriously when your myth relies on fuzzy math. Anyway, Laura Prepon didn't really say she's not dating Tom Cruise, so they might be. Or they might not be. Why are you even worried about it? Go do something productive with your day.

  Xenu will kill you for this. Not fast, but oh so slowly. "The thing that sucks is that there's so much false data because people are in mystery as…

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This Is Taylor Swift In A Bikini By todd April 22, 2014
This Is Taylor Swift In A Bikini

 

Taylor Swift posted this pic on Instagram yesterday, and as much as I'm a fan of her legs, I'm not really a big fan of seeing every vertebra of her spine. I want to have sex with you, I'm not a first year med student. I have a t-shirt you can wear if reverse cowgirl is your thing.

  Taylor Swift posted this pic on Instagram yesterday, and as much as I'm a fan of her legs, I'm not really a big fan of seeing every vertebra of…

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Kristen Bell Got Naked For Allure By todd April 22, 2014
Kristen Bell Got Naked For Allure

 

Allure's annual Nudes Issue is out, and it features Kristen Bell, Minnie Driver, Nia Long, and a pregnant Jenna Dewan. Wow, what an all-star lineup. I wish I could get excited about this, but my penis is watching Sportscenter. He's really concerned about the Golden State Warriors in this series going forward.

  Allure's annual Nudes Issue is out, and it features Kristen Bell, Minnie Driver, Nia Long, and a pregnant Jenna Dewan. Wow, what an all-star lineup. I wish I could…

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Jon Hamm Annihilated Justin Bieber By todd April 22, 2014
Jon Hamm Annihilated Justin Bieber

 

Jon Hamm is on the cover of the May issue of Men's Fitness, and inside, he discusses his life, Mad blah blah blah blah he just called Justin Bieber a "shithead".

“Look at Bieber or whoever,” he says. “You’re like, ‘What the f**k, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame.” What young celebs like that really need, Hamm says, “is a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, sh**head!’ You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish? Life skills are something we’re missing. “There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just s**t you needed to learn in life.” Bieber isn’t the only person Hamm takes aim at — and he’s not afraid to get political. He believes in success, and notes “this weird backlash” against being ambitious and upwardly mobile in America. “It’s this Sarah Palin kind of conversation where they’re like, ‘Oh, the elites,’” he says. “It’s become a thing to just aspire to be a regular person. No, actually, you should desire to be better.”

He kinda lost me at we all need to learn how to sew, but yeah, instead of teaching algebra and chemistry and other stuff most people will never think about again after they graduate high school, how about teach a class that teaches kids how to be decent human being. Let's have Empathy 101 and How Not To Be A Dick: The Science Of Making Friends And Forming Lasting Relationships. Or a class that makes students understand the world doesn't revolve around them. You can still do the cooking class, I guess. Just make sure you spend a whole semester on tacos.

 

  Jon Hamm is on the cover of the May issue of Men's Fitness, and inside, he discusses his life, Mad blah blah blah blah he just called Justin Bieber…

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